Ohmysnickerdoodles Tali&Sophie bother the cullens
by Taliana-The-Vampire-831
Summary: A sequel to the oh so wonderful OhmyMushrooms! If you haven't read OhMyMushrooms then you better read that before reading this. :3
1. Dorky Glasses Drinky Hats & Heart Pianos

**A/N: Hey howdy hey loyal OhMyMushrooms Felivia and Sophie Meet the Cullens(OMM) readers, since that one Felivia changed her name to Taliana; she got turned back to a human (Carlisle found some awesome way to do that…but it only worked on Taliana, and no one else.) because "I can't eat chocolate anymore! And being a vampire is boorring!" Also, Taliana got new glasses shortly after being changed back. Sophie got a new hat, and she's still a vampire. Anyways, give us some ideas for chapters because well our only ideas will be due to our hyperactiveness. **

**WARNING!: Tali & Sophie are usually hyper when writing this. In fact this chapter is all Taliana's doing. And she was hyped up on a Caramelatte from The Coffee Beanery. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters ('cept for Tali & Sophie.). Or any object being used in this fanfic. **

**Go ahead and read our randomness. **

TPOV:

"Oh no, they're back!" Jasper groaned looking out the window.

"Who's back?" Alice piped in from her seat near the fireplace.

"Felivia and Sophie." He shuddered.

"That's Taliana now!" I said as I kicked in the door. "HI EMMY!" I shouted and tackled him. I ended up on the floor because I was back to being a weak little human.

"Hello to you too…what's with the dorky glasses and the name change?" Emmett asked as he helped me up.

"Well, my eyes are horrible to the point where I needed bifocals, and well Taliana is so much better than Felivia." I started.

Emmett took my glasses and put them on. "Do I look sexy in these?" He said, trying to do a sexy pose.

"Oh yes, you look _so_ sexy in that." I said as I tried to get my glasses back.

"Ah-ah-ah! You're not getting these back." Emmett said and started running around, causing me to chase him all around the Cullen's living room.

"Wow…lovely hat Sophie." Edward said trying to cover his laugh with a fake cough.

"You're just jealous." She said, placing her hands on her hips.

"Hey Emmy, I got you a present." I said with a grin.

"Wha-is-it?" He asked, slurring the three words together.

"This." I said as I held up a huge Teddy Bear and a box of chocolates. "It's a late Valentines Day present."

"Well I can't eat the chocolates…but I do want that Teddy-Bear, so give-it here." Emmett said.

"Ah-ah-ah!" I said wagging my finger at him. "You get this, when I get those." I said pointing at my glasses. "And you're silly, I got the chocolates so that I could eat them when you couldn't. Another reason was because my dog ate my box of chocolates that my dad got me…he left me all the gross ones. It's all part of my evil Valentines scheme." I said laughing maniacally.

"Okay." Emmett said and flung the glasses at me. I caught them and then threw the Teddy at him.

I then started stuffing my face with the chocolate as I watched everyone make fun of Sophie's hat. "Why Sophie? What do you tell the people when they ask, "What's the red stuff?" I mean it's kinda obvious isn't it?" Jasper asked.

"Nope, I tell them its Kool-aid." She said with a proud grin.

"Wow…why?" Carlisle asked with a laugh.

"Oh come on, you know it's awesome filling a soda-drinking hat with blood. Especially when you're a vampire." She said as she sucked in some of the blood from her hat for emphasis.

"Wow, you're insane." Alice said with a giggle.

"I want one!" Emmett said laughing.

"Here." Sophie said as she threw a duplicate hat at Emmett. "That's my V-day present. Oh and Eddy I got you a present too."

"Really? You didn't have to…Bella will probably get mad at you."

"Oh who cares Eddy…follow me." Sophie said as she drug him out to the back yard. Emmett, who had donned his new drinky hat, sat next to me as I looked out the back window-wall. "Okay Lower her down boys!" She yelled up to the helicopter being operated by two of the Volturi Brothers, Marcus and Caius. The two lowered the Helicopter, which held a large heart shaped piano with red hearts all over it saying "Edward + Sophie = Forever & Edward – Bella = Forever as well." The third of the Volturi Brothers sat upon the bench of the piano and Alec sat on top of it, singing some random love song, while Aro played it.

"How much do you think she paid those two to do that?" Emmett asked Jasper.

"Aro actually volunteered to do it, without pay, and Alec…let's just say we had some blackmail for Alec…" I said after shoving all of the coconut filled chocolates into my mouth, thus muffling my response. "Edward looks surprisingly surprised." I said after swallowing. Sophie beamed up at Edward, still wearing her hat, and Edward just stood there, in slack-jawed and buggy-eyed. I grabbed my camera out of my bag and then snapped a picture of Edward's face. Bella then came walking through the door.

"What's everyone looking at?" She asked as she ran towards the window-wall.

"You don't want to know Bells." Emmett said laughing.

"Oh yes I do." Bella said as she pushed me out of the way. "Edward! What are you doing?" She shouted out the window. She then read the hearts on his new piano, and almost jumped through the window to kill poor Sophie. Sophie hid behind Edward.

"Bella, control your temper…it's not like I'm going to leave you for her."

"You already left me for Hannah Montana once." (Lulz at the reference to my Valentines Fanfic.)

"That's because Cupid made me do it!"

"No." Bella shouted as she stormed away and left the Cullens' house for good.

"Huzzah! The evil Bellzilla has been defeated!" Sophie shouted and did a victory dance. "That mean's that we can get married Eddy-Poo."

**2****nd**** A/N: Okay this is where we leave you now.**

**Edward: ~Starts rocking back and forth~ Bella left me…**

**Sophie: It's okay Eddy-Poo you have me now. **

**Edward: Oh God why must you torture me? ~Is shouting at the sky~**

**Tali: Okay, while those two work out their relationship problems I'm going to close this one up. For those of you who are just wondering, Yes, Rosalie is still asploded. No one likes her, amirite? Lolz well if you DO actually love her, then well go to a different Fanfic because Rosalie is not in this one. She died in like the fourth chapter of OMM. **

**Emmett: Yeah, and that was like one of the most random moments in the whole thing. **

**Tali: Oh and us having a silly string fight wasn't? Or the Conjoined triplets thing? Or the…I can't remember any of the other shenanigans we got up to.**

**Emmett: Well I suppose those were pretty random…but not as random as my Rosie exploding…**

**Tali: Well I have to bring this to a close because I'm running out of room for typing on my Word Document (Sophie limited me to 3 pages long.) So which one of you boys wants to give our readers hugs? ~Shoves the boys into a line~ Any volunteers?**

**Emmett/Jasper/Carlisle: ~Backs away, making Edward 'step forward'~**

**Edward: ~Too horrified at the idea of an eternity with Sophie to notice.~**

**Tali: Okay! So Edward is our lucky winner! You get to give hugs to our readers.**

**Edward: What? Fine…~Hugs all of the readers~**

**Edward Fangirls: ~Squeal & faint~**


	2. Chair Spinning and Rabbits

A/N Heyheyhey, it's So..PHAY! Ha I'm cool. Anyways! We're BACK BABY! I know everyone missed our shinanigineans. So enjoy!!!

Sophie POV:

I was getting a little annoyed with Edward's moping so I ran down to the garage and hopped into my blue and black Explorer. I kept my thoughts and destiny completely distracted, by sining The Chanukah Song by Adam Sandler. I got to Stables and went to the back of the store where they sold computer chairs. I bought 8 large cushiony purple leather chairs and packed them into the trunk of my car.

Alice and Emmett were already in the driveway bouncing excitedly. We brought the boxes in, and assembled them in the backyard. Taliana, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, and Esme all gathered around to see what we were doing. I gave everyone a box with a sparkly multicolored bow on top and told them to go change. After 20 minutes everyone walked out stiffly in their spandex outfit.

"Ugh! Will you tell us what's going on already!" Complained Jasper fidgiting because his outfit was riding up.  
I giggled, "Okay, we're going to have our first annual, SPIN OFF!" I exclaimed jumping up and and down happily.  
"A wha?" Asked Tali.  
"Well, we all sit in these chairs, and spin. You can't hold on, and the last one on the chair wins!!" I explained. Everyone nodded and went to sit in their assigned chair, except for Carlisle, who had strict instructions to wait infron of everyone.

They looked around nervously. All of a sudden a microphone came down from the sky, and a wrestling ring came out from under ground. Our chairs moved to each side of the ring. Taliana fell off. "HA! YOUR OUT!" Accused Jasper pointing at her.

"Nuuuhh! That doesn't count!" She yelled back.

"Yes it doooess!" He said sticking his tongue out childishly.

"SHUT IT, PANSY!"She said throwing a random rock at him.

"Hey! That's illegal!" He said continuing their arguement.

"Oh! So I AM still in the race?" She smirked.

"GUYS! SHUTTUP!" Yelled Edward, and blew his whistle, as he closed the sliding glass door and made his way into the ring, "No, it doesn't count, the even hasn't started yet.

Emmett, Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Tali and I burst into a fit of giggles as we watched Edward trying to adjust his pants which fit too snuggly, and almost ripped when he got into the ring. Jasper sat grumpily with his arms crossed.

Once we all calmed down Carlisle cleared his throat and spoke dramatically into the microphone.

"In this corner, we have the PIXIEEEE!!!" We heard cheering, and looked at where it was coming from. A giant crowd had formed around the ring. Everyone holding up signs for their favorite...spinner. "Next, we have the undefeated Pansy!!!" A lot less cheering. Jasper stuck his tongue out at the crowd.

"Next to The Pansy Is Grizzly-man, Physco Vamp and Physco Neighbor!" Roaring applause.

"And last, but NOT least! My lovely wife Esme, THE HOMEDEPOTWHORE!!!" He yelled into the mic" Even more applause.

"Stupid, Shiny VOlvo Owner will be the referree! This has been Dr. Feelgood!" He exclaimed, the still forming audience cheered and clapped. Carlisle took his spot. All of us spun as fast as we could and let go of the ropes. This is the part I hadn't accounted for. The chairs had wheels. We all rolled around bumping into each other and spinning in circles.

Tali was the first one to fall off because we both backed into each other. She was flung out of her chair and, ironically, into Edward's lips. He screamed girlishly, and Emmett go worried and rushed out of his chair to help her up.

Edward blew into his whistle, "PHYSCO VAMP AND GRIZZLY-MAN ARE OUT!" He said thrusting his right thumb over his shoulder for emphasis. "Aww's" surrounded us.

It was finally down to Jasper, and I. We were staring a each other intently, as we spun and tried to bump one another off their chairs. It'd been 2 days, and we were still spinning. A few people had gone home, but the rest of the cheering fans had deicded to camp out, which made great bussiness for the Newton's shop. Anyways...

They'd tried everything to get us to stop. Plungers, silly string...ostrages(A/N I'm watching Icarly and spencer just bought one. LOL. I probably spelled it wrong too..). Finally, fed up with all the waiting Tali crouched behind the ring side that Jasper was backing into she jumped on the ropes and flung herself onto his head. He screamed and flailed and fell off.

I got up and stood on my STILL spinning chair and did a victory dance, as everyone cheered. My dance was cut short when my chair bumped into the rope and I fell over to the ground onto Edward. He looked up at me annoyed and I waved, grinning.

"HI!" I exclaimed.

He smiled slightly and tried to sit back up, I inched backwards so that he was sitting up, and I was still on his lap.

During those next few minutes all the screaming-their-heads-off fans left and we all ended up in what I liked to refer to as our "Idea circle".

"Oh! Edward! We coul-" Tali started but was cut off by Edward, "NO!" he shouted.

"Ooh, maybe we could d-" I wanted to suggest dyeing his hair neon green, but no. Stupid boy. I giggled to myself and started to sing the Shoes song. Emmett, Tali, and Alice joined in.

After our random outburst we we went back to thinking.

Oh! I know what we could do!" Emmett shouted, jumping up and down excitedly.

"Is that even LEGAL?" Edward said turning his head to the side in confusion.

"Well...not in most countries..." Emmett said lowering his head in defeat.

Ten minutes later Jasper shot up and started bouncing with a goofy grin on his face.

"Guys, guys, guys!" He started.

Tali cleared her throat, "and girls"

Jasper rolled his eyes, "Yes and girls, I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO!"

We waited patiently, even Alice and Edward, not wanting to spoil his surprise.

"B!R!B!" He yelled and ran to his car and drove off.

We sat in silence for 10minutes until we heard the engine turn off. Jasper sped back to the backyard carrying a box and animal food.

He built a little play pen and dumped the contents of the box in it.

"BUNNY! BUNNY! BUNNY!" He yelled jumping up and down and clapping excitedly.

"OMG!" Tali, Emmett, and I screamed in unison and made a mad dash to pick up one of the 8 bunnies.

I took the light yellow, almost blonde, looking one, and named her Pinky. Tali took the one who was mostly brown but had a white circle of furr around it's left eye. Emmett took the one that was black with white dots down his back, and named him Bamboo. Alice took the tannishbrown mixed colored one and named him Fabio. Jasper took the black one and named him Castro. Esme's was a chocolate brown, she named her's Cindy.  
Carlisle's chose the one that was basically blonde, but had white paws, and a white line down it's stomach, he named it Twinky.  
And Edward took the one that was extremely fluffy and a mix of light browns, but couldn't think of a name.  
We sat there holding our baby bunnies.

"I KNOW!" I finally exclaimed.  
He looked at me shocked.

"What? It's a cute name!" I protested.

"Dear god..." he said shaking his head.

Alice cracked up.

"What is it?" Asked Tali.

"EDDIE JUNIOR! You know? Cause of the furr?" I explained. 


	3. Cullens & Movies & Books OH MY!

**A/N: I was liek listening to the Twilight Soundtrack as I was making a Twilight powerpoint because my boyfriend's too lazy to actually read the books...so I'm paraphrasing everything into a slideshow...(Yeah, I know, I tried to make him read them, or turn it into story time and he's all "Just make a slideshow and paraphrase."...bleh.) Anyways, I just like got this strike of genius while doing that. the book version of the Cullens, watching the movie O.O. spooky right? And that reminded me of a comic I saw on deviantArt by SimplyDelightfulx (I really hope they don't mind me using their art as an inspiration...but I'm at least giving them credit, and a link to the comic at the bottom...and recomending my readers to look at their other stuff too So If you're reading this SimplyDelightfulx please be willing to forgive me if you are mad :3), that's like basically back when Twilght wasn't in movie form yet, well it was just getting started. and they were all "What would happen if Bella was played by Beonce and Edward was a stereotypical Punk/Rock guy with a southern accent? Lolz It was actually quite amusing, If i can find it by the time I post this chapter i'll put a link to it on the second A/N :3 lolz *note this chapter is going to be random...and probably super short.* Also, Bella's long gone and never coming back. Unless Sophie and I Wish to bring her back just to kill her. (Sorry for the Bella lovers out there, I find her annoying Especially back in Eclipse...and well Sophie wants Edward all for herself ) ALSO ALSO! Note that I watched the movie...*Checks the two ticket stubs on my Twilight Wall of Twilightness* well first 11/21/08 at Midnight....and then 12/03/08. So it's been a long while...I just remember the slight differences....=P**

**Note that has nothing related to the actual story Lolz: I'm so pumped! Twilight DVD comes out like four days before my birthday! I'm so getting my dad to get that for me as an early birthday present :3 lolz (Sure, the movie left out what I felt were key parts, ~Cough Cough~ Carlisle's story, Jasper's ability, and 82 other fun random noticeables ~Cough Cough~ But I still enjoyed it. It was pretty good as a movie. Though if you read the books before watching the movie you're all "~groan~ They murdered Twilight! ~Grabs torch and pitchfork and storms the movie making place~)**

**Disclaimer, Don't own anything cept for ourselves. Lolz **

TPOV:

Sophie and the rest of the Cullens were still slightly dizzy from the Spin Off and I was sitting on the couch, reading _Twilight _Emmett grabbed the book from me and asked, "What is this?"

"Twilight. Which is actually how Sophie and I found out about you." I said with a grin.

"Wait, this book is about us?" Emmett asked flipping through the pages, speed reading it. "Well I'll be Damned."

"You already are." Edward said from his reclining chair over in the corner.

"Shut it Edward!" Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and I all shouted at him.

"I think that Stephenie Meyer spies on you guys while you aren't looking...Actually is this thing even accurate?" I asked gesturing towards the book.

"It sure is..." Emmett said and then tossed the book at Carlisle, Carlisle read it, passed it to Jasper, Jasper read it and passed it to Edward, Edward passed it to Sophie after reading it, Sophie, already reading it before then, threw it at Alice who gave it to Esme and then it made it's way back to me.

"Wow..." The remaining vampires said.

"Do you want to watch the movie?" Sophie and I said grinning.

"They made it a movie?" The vampires shouted, we nodded slowly. "Well go get it."

We somehow managed to get the DVD about a month before it was actually supposed to be out and returned to the Cullen house. We put it in the DVD player. "Wow, they got Bella perfect." Edward said surprised.

"It gets worse...You look like your hair lost a fight with a lawnmower, and forever got trapped in a bunch of hairgel that styled it like you're in the '50's." I said as I threw popcorn up in the air and tried to catch it. Carlisle stole my popcorn bag, claiming that I was making a mess because I couldn't catch any of them. Emmett then stole the bag from Carlisle and played "Pop-Sketball." or well Popcorn basketball with my mouth as the basket.

"I Do NOT look like that!" Emmett, Edward, Alice and Jasper all shouted at the TV.

Jasper continued, "I Look like I'm an escapee from the Mental Institution!"

Emmett, "I look like a frickin Rapist or something!"

Alice, "I Would NEVER wear anything like that, or my hair like that!"

Carlisle and Esme were both laughing at Edward's reaction, "Oh God! My hair looks horrible! And I do not glare like that."

Shortly after it was the scene with the van. "That's not what happened..." All of us said laughing.

And then came Carlisle's first scene. "Oh my God, I do not slick my hair back like that, it parts on the other side." That caused all of us to laugh our heads off.

"Trust me Carlisle, it gets worse, they chop out your lovely story." Sophie and I said, "Oh and Jasper, they don't even mention your ability in the movie."

"What? That's bull-plop!" Jasper pouted.

It came to the meadow scene. "That scene was supposed to be more romantic. I mean I didn't even kiss her afterwards. I like attacked her with my mouth on her bed and like raped her..." Edward said, his eye twitching slightly. Then the first time Bella went to the Cullen House.

"OUR HOUSE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THAT!" The vampires shouted.

"It gets better." We muttered. The kitchen scene (One of my favorite scenes ever.)

"Who gave Emmett a knife? Emmett and knives do not mix."

"I wouldn't even want to cook..." Carlisle muttered.

Enter Alice and Jasper. Jasper shuddered as he took in his 'mental institution escapee' looks. "I didn't come in on a freaking tree branch!" Alice said.

Then the baseball scene, "That was not my baseball outfit..." half of the vampires said. The movie continued like that (I'm too lazy to actually type all of the 82 differences I listed on my LJ account. You should go check it out to see how obsessed I am with Twilight. I noticed that the cupboard color was different in the movie than in the book, that is how obsessed I am. Lolz onwards with the story.) the Cullens making crazy comments about what happened.

After the movie Sophie and I suggested, "Let's make our own Twilight movie...A better one. A funnier one."

"Okay..." the Cullens reluctantly agreed.

Within a few minutes Alice, Sophie and Emmett had all of the props and camera equipment to make the movie. We had Sophie play as Bella, and changed Bella's name to Sophie. And seeing as Rosalie was still exploded from the random incident way back when, I was forced to play Rosalie, only we changed her name to Taliana. So we had someone stand in for Renee and the other characters that were not around, and then re-inacted the best Twilight movie ever.

**2nd A/N:** Okay so while I look for the link for that deviantArt thing, I'll let Sophie, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett and Edward reflect upon the random happenings in this chapter.

**Sophie: **Well, I personally I thought that the Cullens' reactions were hillarious.

**Edward:** That movie wasn't true to what really happened...

**Carlisle: **I had like how many lines throughout the whole movie...

**Tali: **Found the link!! Oh and you guys should look at more of their Twilight stuff. It's AMAZING! Oh and Carlisle, I think you had like enough lines to count on your hands once...

**Jasper: **I seriously looked like a Mental Insititiuon Escapee...

**Tali: **But you made a Mental Institution Escapee look sexy.

**Emmett: **That was horrible. Please don't make us watch it again...

**Sophie + Tali: **So we've found Emmett's weakness?

**Emmett:** Well I know your weakness Tali...~Holds up a pink sharpie~

**Tali: **No! No!! You Wouldn't!

**Emmett: **~Does the crazy eyebrow thing that makes him look like a villain~ Oh I would...~Stabs Tali with sharpie~

**Tali: **HAH! Jokes on you! I have grown Immune to your Pink Sharpie of Death. ~Takes another look & reads the comic again~ HAH! SimplyDelightfulx got Edward's hair right...even BEFORE the trailers came out HAH!! That's funnyyyyyyy

**All of us: **Well That's all folks.

**Tali: **Before we go! We need to go find a hat. ~Hat magically appears~ Okay now we need to pick one of you lucky chaps to give out hugs. ~Reaches hand into magic hat~ And the winner is...Drum roll if you please Sophie.

**Sophie: **~Beats on a nearby table~

**Tali:** Jacob!....wait, who put his name in here?! ~rips up Jacob paper and redraws~ Okay It's...OH SHI--- Team Jacobers! ~Runs from the angry mob of Team Jacobers with their torches and pitchforks~

**Sophie: **Well, as Tali is avoiding her firey death here's the link to that deviantArt thing, .com/art/Twilight-The-Movie-60433728 and the winner was Mike.

**Readers:** ~Groan~

**Sophie: **Kidding! It was Emmett. Hey Emmett, don't squeeze them too hard.

**Emmett fangirls: **~Squeal and faint~


	4. JasperElla and Lisley!

"Jasperella!" Alice and I called skipping into Jasper and Alice's room. He looked up from his book and glared at us, "What?"

"Come with us!!" Exclaimed Alice, as we both grabbed his hand and dragged him out. We brought him into Alice's bathroom, because it was the biggest, and set him do-...okay not exactly. we had Emmett drag him in with the help of Edward, and strapped his arms and legs down with multiple leather ropes.

I ran down to Tali and my room to get her, so she could join the festivities.

"YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT, OOH, OOH, OOH, HONEY!" She sang into a plastic spoon dancing around.

"I walked over to the stereo and turned it down clearing my throat.

"TALI!" I yelled. She jumped and I laughed as she turned around shock spread across her face.

"W-were going to make up Jasperella" I told her trying not to laugh, and whispered the last part.

"I heard that!" I heard Jasper yell from upstairs.

I giggled.

"It's not funny!" He yelled again.

"Yes, it is!" I yelled back.

"No, it's not!" He shouted back again..again.

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"N-" But he was cut off.

"JUST GET TALI UP HERE!" Alice shouted, annoyed.

I grabbed Tali and ran up the stairs V-speed (A/N Hehe you get it? Vampire speed...V-speed...*giggles*), which barely took a second, but given the impatience of Alice, she was standing there tapping her foot, and looking at her invisble watch. Jasperall had leath ties up his arms and legs, and was now attemping to knaw them off. I looked closer at his teeth and laughed even harder. He had a mouth guard glued to his teeth. I nodded appreciativly at Alice's creativity and Jasper glared at me.

"BAD!" Exclaimed Tali, wacking Jasper over the head with a hair straightener. The straightener made a cracking noise and broke in half. She stared at his head and the half of the straightener that she managed to hold onto.

"Umm...." She started.

"HA!" Jasper said with a triumphant smile, "Atleast you can't straighten my hair."

"Au contraire, ma ami" Alice told him, as she opened one of the storage cabenits in the bathroom, revealing atleast twenty more pink hair straighteners. He mumbled under his breath. That's when the operation began.

Four tubes of "slice of heaven" lip gloss, to bottles of mascara, one eye liner pencil, and too many empty bottles of cover up and spray tan later. THEY were complete. Yes I said they. Poor, poor...CARLISLE. He was curious as to what was oging on up stairs. pooe thing never had a chance.

Jasper was wearing a ruby red strapless dress with heels, and Carlisle's was the same style, only green. Now to put it to the test.

"Boys, we're complete." I said turning as Alice, and Tali turned Jasper and Carlisle's chairs around so they could see in the mirror.

Emmett and Edward burst into the bathroom, one glance at the boys and they were rolling around on the floor.

We took the guys to a local club, and than hung out at the bar most of the time, to see how well they did. Atleast 20 guys came up to each of them asking them to dance. It was awesome. 


	5. MONOPOLY!

A/N: Okay so I've been playing Monopoly...a lot....well if 2 times is really a lot...but I played it with my friend on our fun-filled weekend, and I just played it earlier today. While playing earlier today...I Got some inspiration for our Oh My Snickerdoodles!...That's right. The Cullens are playing Monopoly. (And of course, someone's going to fight over the racecar piece. and I'm going to grab my monopoly board so that i get all the Chance/community chest cards right, and all of the properties 'n' the costs 'n' all that fun stuff.....I can't very well use the n64 version of the game that I have....my sister managed to make it go into some other language and we cannot figure out how to change it back....) Nuther note....The things that our pieces shout out during our "Party" are from songs...Terracotta pie is from System Of A Down's Viscinity of Obscenity, Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah is from well Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah..., Mmm My Ding Ding Dong is from The Ding Dong Song by Gunther, and the "You're Too Big To Fit In Here" is from that Penis Song that "Sophie" told me about...The Ramalamalama kadinkity Dinkydong is from "We Go Together" from Grease...and the Pour Some SUgar On Me is from...Pour some sugar on me...by Def Leopard....

Disclaimer: As usual, Don't own anything cept for the plot ideas.

TPOV:

Emmett and I were in his room, having a book fight with Edward and Jasper's books, listening to Shut Up and Let Me Go by The Ting Tings.

I started singing the first verse, "Shut up and let me go! This hurts I tell you so, but the last time you will kiss my lips now shut up and let me go, your jeans were once so clean I bet you changed your wardrobe since we me."

Emmett took it from there, "I ain't freaking, I aint faking this, SHut up and let me go! HEY!" and threw a book right at my face when he shouted, "Hey"

Alice and Sophie walked into the room just then. "OPEN FIRE!" I shouted pointing at them and Emmett threw about 20 or 30 books at them.

"Jasper want's to play Monopoly...are you two in?" The two said in unison. Emmett and I nodded and I had Emmett carry me downstairs on his back.

Jasper, Emmett, and I shouted, "I WANT TO BE THE RACECAR!" after which, the three of us exchanged death glares at one another.

"No, You don't get to be the racecar." Emmett complained, "You ALWAYS get to be the racecar!"

"I never get to be the racecar!" I complained, "You sometimes get to be the racecar...don't you Emmett?"

This argument went on for about an hour, and during that hour, my stomach growled, which caused Esme to go into the kitchen and cook me something. I suggested biscuits, because biscuits are oh so yummy. Esme returned with the biscuits and our argument was still going on. Finally Carlisle figured he'd end the argument by taking the racecar and saying "If you guys continue your bickering, then I'm going to be the racecar."

"Carlisle!!" The three of us whined.

"No whining." Carlisle said as he placed his Racecar on GO.

"I wanna be the wheelbarrow!" I shouted as I chomped on my biscuits.

We all selected, then named our pieces. Carlisle's piece was Randy the Racecar, my piece was Waldo the Wheelbarrow, Emmett's was Balto the Boat, Esme's was Maxwell the Moneybag, Edward's piece was Timmy the Train, Alice's piece was Jasperella the Jockey, Sophie's piece was Connie the Doggy, and Jasper's piece was Ted the Thimble.

We all agreed that since Carlisle was the oldest he could go first. Carlisle mumbled something about him not being all that old, but rolled. "WAIT! We need to set up the ground rules." I shouted, spitting bits of biscuits everywhere.

"What are they?" the group asked.

"Rule number one, If you own any property, and notice that someone's on it, the person that's on it can or can't say something about it depending upon how honest they are. if they don't say anytihng about it and the person after them rolls, then the owner of the property cannot...I repeat...CANNOT pester the person for the money...Rule Two you have to read the chance and community chest cards out loud every time no matter what they are...and you have to say everything...I can't really think of any other rule out there that isn't in the rulebook...so that is all." I said.

"Fair enough."

Carlisle moved Randy to a community chest space. he read, "Go to jail, go directly to jail, Do not pass go Do not collect $200." I repeated that, only in a more dramatic voice. At one point of our game we all got into jail.

"Party over here woop woop! Party over there Whoop Whoop!!" Emmett and I sang, doing a random dance where we both moved to the left and then to the right, clapping during the whoop whoops.

Esme owned 3/4ths of the board and had hotels on almost all of her monopolies. She owned the dark blues, the greens, the yellows, the reds, and the oranges.

Carlisle had the utilities and the Railroads. I had the purples, the cheapest rent on the board.

Edward had one of the lighter purples, Jasper had the pinks because he was such a naughty boy and spent most of his time in Jail, Emmett had the other light purple, and Sophie had another light purple. Alice had nothing surprisingly, but then again she wasn't really trying all that hard because she knew who was going to win. Carlisle and Esme were the only two who hadn't gone bankrupt yet.

Carlisle was surprisingly landing on Chances Community Chests and spaces that he already owned, dodging all of Esme's hotels. Everyone else just started making the pieces have an orgy er...Party... in the Jail. (My one friend and I did that...during the game...so that we would have someone to keep us company when we went to jail. *it was only the two of us playing....*)

Carlisle continued his dodging until he picked up the Chance card that said "Take a walk on the boardwalk. Advance Token to Boardwalk."

"Dammit." he mumbled as he mortgaged all of his property and still didn't have enough to pay Esme the $2000.

Seeing as the rest of us weren't paying attention to the actual game and making our pieces have a 'party' *cough cough, orgy.* in the Jail, we all shouted random words as our "Party."*cough cough orgy.* subsided.

Alice's Jockey said, "YOU'RE TOO BIG TO FIT IN HERE!(Lol reference to other story....)

Jasper's Thimble said, "POUR YOUR SUGAR ON ME!"

Emmett's Boat said, "MMM MY DING DING DONG!" (Lol another reference to our other story)

Sophie's Dog said, "TERRACOTTA PIE!!"

Edward's Train said, "RAMA-LAMA-LAMA KADINKITY-DINKY-DONG

and my Wheelbarrow said, "ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH!"

Carlisle and Esme jumped at the sound of our shouting and turned slowly to look at us very strangely.

A few days later Sophie and Edward were in Darfur(Iunno, Sophie told me to say that's where they were, because well Edward went to medical school and would be able to tell me what an Appendix is if I asked him...so she said they wen to Darfur to go help the genocide people...), I was in health class, talking about Appendixes and kidneys. "_what's an App-en-dix?_" (Note if you've seen the one fairly odd parent's episode where they keep mispronouncing Appendix that's how we're pronouncing it throughout the whole thing...cept for Carlisle...who pronounces it correctly.) I wondered to myself. The day went by quickly and I was back at the Cullen's house, after riding the Tali-mobile (aka my shitty bike with the broken kickstand.) all the way to Forks.

"ESME!!!! What's an Appendix?" I asked her, since I entered through the kitchen door, and Esme was cooking some form of food for me.

"I Will not tolerate that kind of language in my household young lady!" She said waving her wooden spoon at me.

"What?"

"I don't know what an Appendix is...but it's probably some slang term." She said as she went back to cooking.

"Okay..." I said and skipped up the stairs to Emmett's room. "EMMETTTT What's an Appendix?"

"Well you see my wonderful girl, an Appendix...is basically a dildo..."

"No it's not Emmett...I may not know what an Appendix is....but I certainly know it's not a Dildo..." I said and ran off to Jasper and Alice's room. "JASPER!" I shouted when I saw him sitting on the bed reading one of his books. "What's an Appendix?"

"That's real simple, it's your basic flagigittyglanitizicationalism." (Note the Flagiggity gland from Fairly Odd Parents...) I tilted my head to the side, and Jasper felt my confusion so he continued with, "What it does is makes you bust out into random dance moves..."

I went in search of Alice and found her in the closet, "ALICE! What's an Appendix?"

"OOH! It's a new brand of clothing silly!" She exclaimed.

"Okay..." I muttered and walked outside to try to find Carlisle, the one Cullen I didn't ask...I saw Jacob walking around for some reason and ran up to him. "HI! I don't like you...and you don't like me...but I need to konw what an Appendix is."

"I like you..." Jacob muttered.

"Down dog!" I said pulling a newspaper out of nowhere and hitting him with it on the nose.

"Ow...but an Appendix is an All Powerful People Eating Nut Driven Insane Xerox machine." He said matter of factly (get it.. A-P-P-E-N-D-I-X (I had A LOT of chocolate today...) I forget what that thing where letters stand for words thing....so yeah..that's what that crazy statement is.)

I ran back upstairs after seeing Carlisle up in his office through the Window Wall. "CARLISLE!" I shouted, saying the S and dragging out the "Isle" part.

He sighed and looked up at me. "Yes Tali?" He asked.

"WHat's an Appendix?"

"Don't you mean Ah-pen-dix?" Carlisle asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure...but what is it? Emmett says it's a Dildo, Jasper said it was something about a Flagigidyglanitizicationalism, Jacob said it was an All Powerful People Eating Nut Driven Insane Xerox machine, Esme thinks its some new curse word...and Alice thought I was talking about clothing...So can you please tell me what it is."

"Well do you want to know...the anatomical version or the grammatical version? There's a Grammatical Appendix, which is A text added to the end of a book or an article, containing information that is important to but is not the main idea of the main text...but the anatomical version The vermiform Appendix is an inner organ without a known use that can become inflamed."

"Well thank you Carlisle. I Love you so much more now." I said and hugged Carlisle.

"GAH get off."

"I'd rather not." I said snuggling closer to him.

Carlisle threw me to the floor and pointed at the door (hee that rhymes.) "Out." he said.

"Fine..." I said, slumping my shoulders and making my way to Emmett's room to continue our book fight from a few days ago.

"So Tali...wanna try out my new Appendix?" Emmett asked, doing the eyebrow wiggle.

"Emmett...an Appendix is not a dildo!" I shouted.

**2nd A/N: So yeah...I was hyper when writing this... if you couldn't guess...and Jacob finally made an appearance in one of my stories O.O Praise Jeebus it's a miracle!**

**Carlisle: How do you not know what an Appendix is?**

**Me: Very carefully.**

**Jasper: I still say it's a Flagiggityglanitizicationalism. **

**Jacob: No, it's definately an All Powerful People Eating Nut Driven Insane Xerox machine.**

**Emmett: Guys you're both wrong, it's a dildo.**

**Me: Okay we've settled that the Appendix is an All Powerful People Eating Nut Driven Insane Xerox Flagiggityglanitizicationalism's Dildo's Clothing? **

**Carlisle: But that's not wha--**

**Me/Emmett/Jasper/Jacob: SHUT IT CARLISLE! **

**Carlisle: ~Sob.~**

**Emmett/Jasper/Jacob: THat's all for now!**

**Me: Okay so now maybe I should give the Jacob fans some love and let Jacob be the one to give hugs this chapter...**

**Jacob: Nu.**

**Me: yes...you're lucky I even put you in this chapter...I mean the only reason you're in here is because I ran out of people and came up with the All Powerful People Eating Nut Driven Insane Xerox thing. (I couldn't think of another x word :/) So Jacob if you wouldn't mind giving our lovely readers some hugs. and for those Jacob haters out there, we can give you....drum roll please Emmett...**

**Emmett: ~hits desk a few times~**

**Me: Jasper! **

**Jasper/Jacob: I don't want to give out hugs...**

**Me; Too bad! You're Doing it! **

**Jasper/Jacob: ~Gives hugs to people~ **

**Me: ~Mwah~ I love's ya my lurvly readers! You better review 'n' such. Or I'm going to hold all of these chapters hostage! ~Evil laughter.~**


	6. Sophie's A Princess!

A/N Hey! We finally have our website up! So check out Tali's FF Pro and if I remind her, she'll put the link up!! *applause comes outta no where* *bows* *roses* *Takes them and makes really long pointles speech* Anyway...

Disclaimer: Tali and I don't own Twilight, or the characters, we do own this story! But I don't own any of the books or games, etc.

A few hours after our royally epic game of Monopoly all of us were scattered around the house. I was upstairs curled up in Edward's bed reading Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Daughter Like a Skank (A/N Very funny book by the way). Edward was outside getting the mail. I heard him come inside, and rush up the stairs.

"S-s-sophie..." He started to say stuttering. That means something actually SCARED Edward, shocker I know.

"Yes...?" I asked putting my book down and getting off the bed to walk over to him.

"Uhm....you might wanna read this." He handed me a letter written beautifully on a piece of papyrus paper.

It read:

"Dear Sophie Georgia Ferrera,

I am your Grandmothers Assistant, and it is my greatest sorrow to inform you that your great grandmother has passed you weren't already informed, she was the Queen of Orignatonia."

"Oh my..." I started but Edward interuppted me.

"Keep reading" He urged.

"Your parents have hopefully informed you of this a while ago, your great grandmother has left the Orignatonia Kingdom to you. We would love to have a descendant from Ms. Lisa Michelle Ferrera as the new ruler, as opposed to a non-royal blood. We will be sending some Court Representatives to you the next New Moon, to discuss your take on things.

Sincerely Yours,

Jeana Carol Lucifer."

"What the hell...." I sasked(said asked) aloud.

"My thougths exactly." Edward replied.

We looked at each other and both ran to the nearest calender, which was in Emmett's room. It had cute little kitties on it. I would laugh about that later. We went through the weeks an foudn that the next New moon was in one month and three days. I screamed. LOUD.

Everyone rushed up the stairs. Tali on Emmett's back, they were both half naked, I didn't bother asking. Carlisle and Esme were both holding shovels and were covered in dirt, a funny sight. And Alice had a all around circle like spikey hair brush in Jasper'sx hair and he was wincing in pain.

"What's wrong!?" Shouted Tali.

"Uhh guys...apparently I'm going to be the Queen of Orignatonia." I explained.

Everyone stared at me wide-eyed, except for Alice who was bouncing excitedly.

"What happened?" Asked Jasper.

"Well my great grandmother died, and she apparently left me her...well her country. I never knew about her, until now of course. Her Court Representatives are coming in about a month and three days to confirm everything up. And I guess I'll be moving there." I continued. to explain.

"Don't you have a say in this?" Asked Tali.

"I do, but if I don't do this, than what'll happen to th- my country? I dont' want some stranger taking over. They want to keep the blood family ruling it, and apparently the next one is, me." I said.

The next few weeks prior to recieiving the letter, were spent teaching me how to be a "Proper Lady".

"No, Sophie! No! No! No!" Alice yelled scolding me for the umptiethn(A/N basically means a lot) time. "You lift your skirt slightly, than curtsy by crossing one leg of the other, and don't bend down so far! You don't want anyone else getting a few of your ass, Edward will get jealous!" She scolded some more.

The day finally came, and Alice did her best to make me look ready. I was in a very large dress, well large at the bottom, the top had my breasts all but falling out and my waste in so tight that it felt numb. I waited in the living room with everyone else watching TV.

"Wait, so Sophie, what's going to happen when you have to make appearances and stuff? Isn't it...you know...sunny?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah I thought about that too, but I figure I can just higher some fancy umbrella maker, you know like they have at Disney! My skins obviously really pale, so I can just say I'd lie to avoid the sun's rays." I told him matter-of-factly.

The doorbell rang. All went silent. Butterflies flowed freely in my stomach, bumping into every part of it. Alice eagerly went to answer the door.

A whole court was standing in full uniform, even had the flags and horns set up. I got up, but not without almost stumbling over the dress, Edward caught me. Story of my life. A "Squire" or whatever they were called walked to the front and read off a scroll.

"I'm here to present you Sophie Georgia Ferrera with the Royal Sprogestsport Assistant of your Great Grandmother, Ms. Lisa Michelle Ferrera." The Squire read. And moved out of the way.

Lisa Michelle Ferrera stepped out from behind him. She was quite pretty. She had long mahogany brown hair, with piercing green eyes. She was also rather pale, and was wearing a very long flowing, ruffly red dress, with a low neck line. We both courtsied and walked to the backyard where Alice had greatfully set up a whole tea party like scene. Emmett, Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper quickly got dressed in theyre all white suits and went into the kitchen to start the tea. Tali, and Alice changed into there dresses and met Lisa and I outside.

Lisa explained to me everything about the country, even gave me a hand written 25 page brochure, it was beautiful there. After she finished explaining everything, her face went a little...off.

"Theres only one problem...you'll need a husband." She said, but didn't give me a chance to respond and continued talking, "Now I have a few possible options, all very attractive men only a few years older than you, and very good backrounds." She informed me.

I looked over at Tali, who was sitting next to Edward, but as I did that I noticed Edward clenching his fists. I looked at him and forwarded my eyebrows. He noticed my look, and looked up at me, almost ashamed. If he could blush I think he would have.

'What?' I mouthed.

He shook his head, disregarding my question.

"She already has a husband" He said.

Everyone in the Cullen family, including Tali and I, gasped.

Hell, I choked on my tea.

"Well that's great! Saves us some time," Stated Jeana, smiling.

"So, on to even more important matters, your court." She said.

"OH! OH! OH! PICK MEEEEEE!" Shouted Tali, who was now bounce-sitting on Emmett's lap.

"Yes, Tali?" Jeana asked, kindly.

"Can I be the court dog?" She asked eagerly.

"Uhm...." Jeana started.

"Sure, Tali.." I said trying to supress laughter.

"Can I be the court's male dog?" Asked Emmett seriously.

"Yeah..." I said still trying to hold back a smile and laugh.

The whole table was buzzing with ideas.

"I can be there official shopper!" Exclaimed Alice.

" I can keep the garden in order!" Suggested Esme.

I looked around smiling. Maybe this...could work...

A/N

Okay, so those of you peoples who watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch, theres this one episode, where Zelda aquires land etc. etc. That's kind of what gave me the idea. I DONT OWN SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH EITHER. Anyways, hope you guys liked it!!!=]

Sophie: Who wants to hug our fans now?

-Silence-

Sophie: *grabs Jasper* THANKS FOR OFFERING PANSY!

Crowd: *Sighs*

Sophie: Aww! He isn't THAT bad!

Jasper: *glares*

Okay that's all for now, Jasper, hug our fans!

Fan Girls: *jump up and down squealing*....*sees Jasper come out* *sighs*

Jasper: WHAT THE HELL MAN!? YOU DON'T LOVE ME AS MUCH? WHAT!? WHAT!? IS IT 'CAUSE I'M BLACK!??! YOU GUYS BE HATIN' ON MY HERITAGE!!(A/N I'm not racist. I swear.)

Sophie: *drags Jasper behind curtain again* REVIEW!


	7. Home Improvements & Cats!

A/N: HEEYYY So yeah, I really dunno where Sophie got the whole "Imma be a princess." thing :/ But nonetheless Its here to stay, so this is going to be themove from Forks to Originatopia (My name for a country...which I derived from my Werther's Original bag....taking the L off of Original and putting "Topia" at the end.) Anyways As usual, Dont own anything cept for the plotline.......Oh and I got the idea for the latter half of tihs, from a movie...that one movie where those two guys inherit this amazing house that's worth a crapload of money...and try to fix it up, and destroy it all because of an annoying mouse. I forget the name of that movie, but I haven't seen it in Forevers!!! Lolzz I just watched it earlier today. :] OH! Anndddd!!! I've been listening to RENT's original broadway cast soundtrack...and I just can't help putting the Cullens (And bella who well now IS a cullen :/) as the main 8 characters...mainly based upon how the RENT characters act/look and how the Twilight characters and I might make a Fanfic of that....anywayssss Onwards to the chappy.

TPOV:

"Woof Woof!" Emmett and I started having a barking contest, because we were the palace dogs. The whole car ride to the airport we were fighting over the front seat where the limo driver was sitting. The limo driver kept giving us odd looks when we tried to squeese through the window that seperated the driver's part of the car from the rest of the limo.

"Guys! No! Bad!" Sophie scolded us. We wimpered and snuggled up to her legs. "And stop acting like dogs it's weird...I now dubb thee...non-dogs." She said.

"Aww no fun Sophie!" Emmett and I said as we sat down on the seat and pouted throughout the remainder of the car ride. On the plane we decided to play "Word Disassociation." (Which is also a good song by Lemon Demon. If you don't know it then go look for it on youtube. I know Neil Ciceriega put it on his youtube acount along with a video of him stroking his "youtube" award for ten whole minutes...like he siad he would if his fans made him win the award...Anyways Back to the these are the actual lyrics of that song so if you want, go youtube it and listen to it while reading :] Oh and you dont have to read it :/ it's just a bunch of relaly random words that dont relate...(hence the name Word DISassociation.)) We sang.

"enemy lasagnac robust below wax semiautomatic aqua accompany slacks why coffee gymnastic motorcycle unibrow existential plastic extra nightly cow damn jettison goodbye through everything center who spidery concubine pale lickity-split remorse vitamin after force already nested human wine flight luminary uprise entanglement broke unsophisticated clockwise holiday way smoke abundant various metaphorically applause underneath hilarious oxymoron claws rectangular awkward hurt million controvert never undressing sneer blue therapy fall inside father dethrone applied guillotine apprehensive engineer _Word Disassociation. (Disassociation.)_ _Word Disassociation. (Disassociation.)_ _Word Disassociation. (Disassociation.)_ _Word Disassociation. _ prance omelette stalking chimneysweep eleven hatred earmuff okay rathskeller my elusive hula yellow sketching creamy helium gentlemanly communique flouncy panicky redundant psychedelic while raisin terrible abundant polyurethane smile scrumptious mechanical jungle uncle wish paleobotanical backwards licorice truth medical entertain cleverly porridge brain jellyfish fingernail agnostic oppressive wall platypus parasol sauntering sawdust opera monorail  
Playing…_Word Disassociation. (Disassociation.)_ _Word Disassociation. (Disassociation.)_ _Word Disassociation. (Disassociation.)_ _Word Disassociation. _ " we then proceeded to take one word at a time, one after the other. "Emmett: letter Me: no Emmett: sly Me: violin Emmett: dust-bunny Me: explode Emmett: serenade Me: why Emmett: spoil Me: play Emmett: drip Me: skullduggery Emmett: freezer Me: monocle Emmett: pelican Me: cool Emmett: milk Me:freak Emmett: tongue Me: television Emmett: staple-gun Me: mellow Emmett: face Me: bubblegum Emmett: periscope Me: fight Emmett: silly Me: elephant Emmett: akimbo Me: paranoia Emmett: sever Me:maybe Emmett: crush Me:toy Emmett: spoon Me: melt Emmett: feather Me: clear Emmett: king Me: weird Emmett: space Me: love Emmett:domino Me: reality Emmett: apostrophe"

And then we both sang: "dollar jade velocity meringue assuming gentle mister advertisement suitcase pining lobsters over murderous distraction flames imposter a-c appella crouch about bionic ruby quickly antidisestablishmentarianism _Word Disassociation."_

After we finished our lovely song everyone but Sophie, Emmett and I were cringing because of our horrible singing. We were about to start singing Stick Stickly (Nuther good song) but, sadly, we had arrived in Originatopia. We got out of the plane and then walked into the palace. "This place is amazing Sophie!" Emmett and I shouted as we ran down the corridors and somehow ran in a complete circle and crashed into Edward, Sophie, and Jasper. We grinned at each other and I hopped on Emmett's back and we continued running around the same circle until Edward grabbed Emmett and scolded him.(I would just like to poitn out, My sister (who is 18) and her new roommate did this in their new house...and nearly hit me with the swinging door. xD) "No fun." We muttered.

Sophie and Jeana went upstairs to prepare Sophie for her first appearance to the Originatopians, Esme and Carlisle went outside to go check out the garden area, Alice ran to every single bedroom in the house to check the closets, Jasper ran to the library, and Edward went to go see if they had a piano. Emmett and I wandered around aimlessly until we found a random orange door. We opened it and every single thing in the room was orange. There was a large toychest near the left wall and we opened it. It was full of some odd combination of Mr. Potatohead and Barbie Dolls only made of Oranges. We started playing around with them and then got bored, fast. We then proceeded down the hallway and found the Disney room, a room that was full of Disney things.

"JASPER! SOPHIE!" Emmett and i shouted as we ran down the hallways of the palace. We finally ran into, and I litterally men, RAN into, them. "HI!" We shouted.

"Hi Emm, Hi Tali..." Jasper said sounding annoyed.

"Can we go for a walk through the woods? Emmett and I don't wanna go alone." I asked with a grin.

"Why not." Jasper and Sophie shrugged their shoulders.

Sophie and I were walking behind Jasper and Emmett, I whispered to her, "I say we ditch 'em." She nodded and we took off, hiding in a nearby bush, and following them bush to bush, and tree to tree.

They finally reached tihs really old, creepy, yet amazingly awesome looking house. They went up the stairs of the porch, opened the door, to find a bunch of cute kittycats sitting on the steps of the grand staircase in the center of the main room. "Awww they're so cute!" Emmett said and started to pet one of the fluffier ones. The fluffy kitty started hissing at Emmett, and the other cat's joined in. "What the hell Emmett?" Jasper said, slowly backing away from the cats. Just then a mouse came out from the floorboards, landed on the end of the railing, and squeaked, making gestures at Jasper and Emmett. The two boys took off full speed from the house, and ran into us. "Hi boys." we said laughing. "I say we try to fix up the house." Emmett and I said in unison.

"What the hell?" Jasper said, "Are you two nuts? There are killer cats in there..."

"And you're vampires. You can take care of yourself." I continued.

"But you're not." Jasper said.

"But I have Emmett to protect me. and besides, Cats love me!" I grinned.

Emmett whooshed off, and returned a few seconds later throwing hard-hats at Sophie and me after placing one on his own head. Followed by Tool-belts, which Emmett called our "Handy dandy utility belts."

We returned to the old house, the mouse jumped out, squeaking at Jasper and Emmett. Emmett let out a girlish squeal and jumped into Jasper's arms. "What the hell Emm?" Jasper said as he dropped Emmett to the ground, causing him to form a giant hole in the floor.

"Pansy! Why'd you do that?"

"I AM NOT A PANSY!" He shouted, it echoed, and then the evil kittens came back down the stairs, causing Jasper and Emmett to go hide in the kitchen.

"Here kitty kitty." I said, clicking my tongue at one of them. It mewed, and ran over to me. "You're just a scared li'l kitten aren't you?" I babytalked it, scratching it's belly. "You're so cute!" I picked it up and brought it into the kitchen. "See guy's it's not evil. It's just...OW!" I shouted as the kitten scratched me, hissing at Jasper and Emmett. I placed it on the ground and it ran straight to Sophie and cuddled with her. "They just don't like men apparently." I shrugged. Emmett grabbed a giant cleaver and tried to make his way to the main room. "EMMETT! NO! Don't hurt the poor kitty!!!" I cried.

"Well that kitty hurt you..."

"Because it doesn't like men." I said going back into the room to pet the poor frightened cat.

"Okay we'll just start the renovating I guess..." Emmett and Jasper shrugged.

Just then Edward, Carlisle, Esme, and Alice walked in the door. "There you are! We've been looking for you guys!" Edward and Carlisle said together. The cats tried to jump on Edward, causing Edward to let out a girlish squeal, which made Emmett and Jasper come out of the kitchen. The cats hissed at the three boys, who ran upstairs and hid in a room.

"Aw they're so cute!" Alice and Esme cooed at the cats, cuddling with two of them.

"Wait a sec...Carlisle, are you a girl in disguise? Becaues I thought these cats hated men, hence the chasing Edward, Emmett, and Jasper upstairs." I said laughing as Carlisle started playing with one of the cats. Just then we heard girlish screams coming from the basement, we went to investigate, and found a steel door, with a handle on the outside of it. "Guys! Let us out! Please!" Jasper, Emmett, and Edward said, screaming between every other word.

"Guys, These cats are vampires or someting, because they're actually hurting us." Jasper said, clawing at the door. (I'm having a giggle fest while writing tihs, Oh, and I don't hate the boys, I just thought it'd be funny for them to be attacked by killer cats...Onwards with the story.)

"Uh-Oh. Guys! They have matches! Come on! Let us out!!!" Emmett and Edward started pounding at the door. "There's no handle in here otherwise we'd get ourselves out! Now let us out!"

"Guys, maybe we should let 'em out." Carlisle and Esme said exchanging a nervous glance.

"Hey, guys, do you smell that?" Sophie asked, sniffing the air.

"Smells like...gas." I said as I glanced at Sophie.

"Uh-Oh. They got matches, and some kind of gas...that can't be good." Sophie said as she backed away from the door.

Just then the door exploded off the hinges, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward were pushed up the stairs, landing on top of us. They quickly got up and scrambled out of the house full speed. "Nice clothes boys." Sophie and I laughed as we saw that their clothes were torn up because of the cats, and signed because of the explosion.

"Okay let's go back to the palace." Esme and Carlisle said, and ushered us out of the building. Shortly after we exited the whole house collapsed. The cat that I had been cuddling with from the start came running out from the rubble and into my arms. "Awww you're so cute! Can I keep him?" I asked Carlisle as the cat started playing with my hair.

"Okay, just keep it away from Edward, Jasper and Emmett." Carlisle sighed, and the four of us followed the boys back to the palace.


	8. The REAL Rosalie

A/N YAY!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Flo Rida's songs, or Twilight, or it's characters, I own this story though, and Sophie, so yeah.

We decided to name our kitty Solina, a misk of Tali and Sophie. But onto the bigger issue. Though Emmett was truely happy with Tali, he never touched Rosalie's stuff, since well...since she asploded. So he asked me to go back with him to finally sort through her things. We decided to not tell Tali the real reason we were going, and told her we were going hunting for the weekend.

Most of the plane ride was spent in silence, well except for my singing...

"JUST A SMALL TOWN BOY....ONLY RAISIN SOUTH DETROIIITTT! HE TOOK A MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANNNNNYWHHERRREEE!"-pause- "JUST A CITY GIRL, LIVING IN A LONELY WORRLLDDD! SHE TOOK A MIDNIGHT TRAIN, GOING ANYYYWHERRREEE!" I sang Journey's amazing song Don't Stop Believin' at the top of my lungs.

"Shuttt upp!" Emmett whisper yelled at me.

"WhatdIdo?" I said in one conjoined sentence.

"Well first of all, you've got the lyrics completely wrong, and second of all, you're the damn queen of Originatopia! ACT CIVIL, WOMAN!" He explain-scolded, angrily.

"Touchy, touchy." I said, shocked by his outburst.

I leaned back, pouting and glared at Emmett the whole time. Twenty minutes later a joly was sent through my body, and shot out through my eye. A spark hit Emmett's leg and it caught on fire.

"Holy shit!" We both exclaimed in unison.

"Get it offff!" Squealed Emmett, flailing his hands, the water from his glass flowed out onto his leg.

"Hol shit!" We bothed yelled again in unison.

"What the hell, Sophie!?" He asked-yelled.

"I don't know!" I cried.

We both froze, and a smile formed on both of our mouths.

"OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD! We have super powers!!!" We both squealed quietly and did little hand gittery dance moves.

(A/N IM WATCHING THE TWILIGHT MOVIE DELETED SCENES RIGHT NOW!!!)

Emmett stood up on his chair and shouted, " I am the official dog, slash, boyfriend to a girl who's best friends with the queen of Originatopia! And I am a water bender!"

Than some curly red-haired flight attendant came up to Emmett and said, "Um, sir...could you please sit down? You're scaring the other passengers..."

We looked around, and in the very front row of first class, was an elderly couple snoring, loudly.

"BOOPASH!" Shouted Emmet, and thrusted his right pointer finger at the attendant, "Smight the evile(A/N Pronounced Eey-vile) witch, Sophie!"

I concentrated hard on the woman for a good ten minutes, nothing. I smiled sheepishly, jumped on Emmett's shoulders and shoted, "MUSH!" And we ran off the plane. We shot out the window of the plane, and began to fall 10,000feet from the sky. Emmett and I decided as we were falling, we should dance.

We started out with Jazz ahnds, and than moon walking. And when that got boring, we broke out into a bad randition of Michael Jacksons "Thriller". But instead we song Flo Rida's worst song, aside from "Low", "Hot Damn"(A/N I'm not 100% sure that's the name, but it's close).

"Oh hot daaayyuumm," Emmett sang.

"This is my jayuumm" I sang.

"Gunna keep me dancing until the early morn'. Yall don't understaayynd. Make me throw my hand sin the ai' ai' air, ai' ai' air." We both sang. (A/N I probably got these lyrics wrong, so sorry!)

We got so distracted, that we didn't notice we'd fallen into Jacob's house. Bella and him were...well...you know, doing it. They stared at us.

"What're you doing here...?" Asked Bella.

"We're here to..support you guys.." Said Emmett, nervously.

"Yeah! Woohoo! Pro-creation!" I shouted, thrusting my hands into the air, making the 'rock on' sign.

"Sure..?" Jacob sasked(Said/asked).

"So, this means you're done with Edward, right Bella?" I asked, crossing my fingers for luck.

"Yeah, totally." Bella said, shrugging.

"Yes!" I shouted, jumping up into the air, and that 'doodoodoodoodadoodoo' music played, like the music that plays when Mario finsihes a like mini level, and stuff. I looked at Emmett, and gave him a thumbs up, because he had plyed the tune from his phone. We smiled at them, waved, and shot out the hole in the roof that we'd made 5 minutes ago.

When we got to Emmett and Rosalie's old room, he got really quiet. We started to sort through their stuff, Iwas going through her closet, and when I moved some clothes out of the way, I was greeted by a trap door.

"Hey, Em?" I called to him.

"Yeah, Soph?" He asked back.

"Did you know about this door here?" I asked...again, pointing to the trap door I had just found.

"No.." He responded, leaning over to open it, it didn't budge.

"Here, try this."I suggested, grabbing the skeleton looking key I had found right next to it. I twisted the key in the whole and slowly opened it up. It was dark.

Emmett and I climbed into it and I found the light switch, I paused for dramatic effect. It was too dark even for us to see. So I flipped the switch and long rows of light turned on in a long row.

"HOLY HUGGYBUNCHERS!" We both shouted.

There were thousands upon thousands of blond hair dye containers. And one large soap, shampoo, and hair cut table, sink place. 'Rosalie' was written in beautiful script across the top,and light bulbs surrounded the mirror. Next to the mirror was a "before/after" photo of her. The 'before' photo was of her as a red head. The 'after' was of her as she last was, a blond.

Emmett and I stared for a long time.

"Let's never talk about this again, okay?" Sasked(said, asked) Emmett.

"Deal." I replied. And we shot out of the house, and back to Originatopia.


	9. Tali's Birthday!

A/N: Okay So my birthday was on the 25th. I felt like celebrating by making a chappy of OMM into my birthday party (along with my two birthday parties I already had xD) yeah, I know I'm like 4 days late xD I've been busy for the last few days. Anyways. I'd just like to share that Tay found out her favorite flower is called…*insert dramatic Dun Dun DUNNNNS* The Pansy. XD Okay continue on.

Disclaimer: I Don't own Twilight. Or I Will Survive (you'll see :/) or any of the products used in this chappy…

TPOV:

Why's everyone being so secretive today? I asked myself as I went into the room that Emmett and I were staying in. I sat on the bed and sighed. They didn't even wish me a Happy Birthday. I lay down on the bed and huffed out another sigh as I grabbed a pillow and placed it over my face.

I heard the door open, "Go away." The pillow muffled my speech.

"Hey Tali, why are you so down? I'm feeling your depressedness even when I leave the palace…" Jasper said coming over to the bed placing a hand on my shoulder.

"No one remembered that it's my birthday today…"

"Well I wouldn't say that…" Jasper said, and I glanced up at his face. He had a look that said 'Oh shit, I shouldn't have said that.'

"What do you mean Jazz…." I said.

"…Nothing!! I didn't say anything! You're hearing things!" He said and tried to run away. I ran to the door somehow making it before Jasper did and blocked him off.

"You're going to tell me." I said with a smirk.

"N-No I'm not." Jasper said, trying to find another escape.

I grabbed a chair and found straps that I knew Jasper wouldn't be able to escape from, very much like when we turned him into Jasperella. I then grabbed a random contraption that Emmett and I had named "The Wet Willinator." And placed it next to him. "Jasper dear, I'm an expert at torture. I have an older sister and I spent hours torturing her…" I said with an evil grin and maniacal laughter Jasper's eyes widened in horror.

They widened even more when he noticed a Hannah Montana CD in my hand. "Oh SOOOPHIEEEE!!!" I shouted out the door as Jasper tried to hop with the chair to escape the room. "You stay put Pansy!" I said pushing the button for the Wet Willinator and he squealed out in disgust.

"Yes Tali?" Sophie asked walking through the door.

"Go round up all the pregnant woman you can find. And tell them to come here." I said with a grin. "I'm torturing Jasper until he tells me something. Whoever says torture isn't the way to go with getting information…they're wrong. Torture's the fun way." I said laughing.

"Okays!" Sophie said and darted off into town.

"Solina here kitty kitty!" I shouted down the hallway and our kitten came running towards me from the end of the hallway. "Hey cutie. I need you to do me a favor, and behave yourself until I tell you to flip out." I said nuzzling her head with my nose.

"No. No! Not Solina!" Jasper had a terrified expression on his face.

"Yes. Yes. Solina." I said grinning. And I held up some pink nail polish and a frilly pink dress. "Okay Jasperella, you're going to put this on or I will sic Solina on you." I threw it at him. He quickly put it on after I un-strapped him. I placed a pink tiara on his head to match the frilly dress. "Okay time for a manicure." I said with a grin holding up the nail polish once more. "Now are you going to tell me what you meant?"

"NO!" Jasper shouted.

"Okay…" I said grabbing a big 1 pound chocolate bar and smiling. (A/N: They actually make chocolate bars that big…we had one before :] it took us like a month to eat it (by us, I mean me my dad and my sister)…anyways.) I regretted wasting such precious chocolate, but it was necessary to torture Jasper. I shoved a large chunk into his mouth and forced him to swallow it. "How about now?" Sophie returned with the pregnant women and ushered them into the room where Jasper was being held hostage.

Jasper shook his head, and suddenly Edward played the piano part for "I Will Survive." Why? I don't know, but he did. And Jasper started singing after swallowing the hunk of chocolate. (That's right. Jasper sings us a song. :] Oh and if you don't want to read it, then don't. :/ It's the whole song so if you want, just listen to it while reading xD)

"First I was afraid, I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side but then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong. I grew strong and I learned how to get along. And so you're back from outer space, I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face. I should have changed that stupid lock; I should have made you leave your key if I'd have known for just one second you'd be back to bother me. Go on now go, walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore! Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye you think I'd crumble, you think I'd lay down an die? Oh no not I. I will survive! Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive, I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give I'll survive, I will survive hey, hey! It took all the strength I had  
not to fall apart kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself I used to cry Now I hold my head up high and you see me somebody new I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you and so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free now I'm saving all my loving  
for someone who's loving me. Go on now go, walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore! Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye you think I'd crumble, you think I'd lay down an die? Oh no not I. I will survive! Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive, I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give I'll survive, I will survive oh, go on now go, walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore! Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye you think I'd crumble, you think I'd lay down an die? Oh no not I. I will survive! Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive, I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give I'll survive, I will survive I will survive! It took all the strength I had not to fall apart kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself I used to cry Now I hold my head up high and you see me somebody new I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you and so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me. Go on now go, walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore! Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye you think I'd crumble, you think I'd break down an die? Oh no not I. I will survive! Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive, I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give I'll survive, I will survive!!!" (End song. XD)

I shoved more chocolate into Jasper's mouth and activated the Wet Willinator once more sang The Best Of Both Worlds out of tune right in Jasper's ear and placed Solina in Jasper's lap. "Now!" I said at Solina, causing Solina to flip out on Jasper and start trying to scratch him.

"OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! YOU WIN! Just get this damn cat off of me and get me out of this damn dress, and untie me and, and, and…" he started dry sobbing.

"Aw Jasper…it's okay…" I said placing Solina out in the hallway and closing the door after telling the pregnant women to go home. I untied him and let him take the frilly pink dress off, leaving him in his boxers and the tiara. "Um Jazz…you still got the tiara on your head…" I said laughing. He ripped it out of his hair and threw it to the ground.

"Okay. We didn't forget about your birthday, we were just trying to throw a surprise party for you." Jasper said. "Can I leave now?" He glanced at the door.

"Fine. You're lucky I didn't get to the Highlight part of our little torture escapade. You'd be walking around with bright neon pink highlights in your hair for a long, long while." I said just before Jasper ran out of the room.

Alice called me downstairs and I quickly ran down. A plate with a pyramid of German Chocolate cupcakes with two candles (a 1 and a 7) on the top one and the Cullens holding their presents for me greeted me. "YAY!" I shouted. "Party over here, whoop, whoop, party over there, whoop, whoop." I continued adding a little dance. I stuffed my face with my German chocolate cupcakes. After I finished eating my 'cake' they gave me their presents. Alice gave me a makeup kit first. "You think I'm ugly! You think I'm so ugly that I need makeup!" I cried. Alice said that it was just so that I could feel prettier than I already was, and then Jasper gave me his present, a pair of cowboy boots and a matching hat. "Very creative Jasper…Mr. Cowboy." I said giggling as I put the hat on. Edward gave me a CD of a few songs he composed along with my favorites from Bach, Chopin, Pachabel, Debussy Beethoven and Mozart. "Yay! Classical Music!" I gave Edward a big hug and waited for Carlisle, Esme Sophie and Emmett to give me their presents. Sophie gave me a $1000 gift card for Victoria's Secret. "That store is scary! All I like is the perfume. I don't think I'll be able to spend that much on perfume…" I said throwing the gift card down to the ground as if it were a spider. (I really DO NOT like Victoria's secret. You should have seen my sister trying to drag me in. I was clinging to one of the pillars all "NOOOOO" xD) Carlisle handed me a set of keys. "What's this for?"

"It's for a new Lotus. Light blue." He said with a grin.

"OH MY FRICKEN CARLISLE!" I shouted and hugged Carlisle so tight that if he were human he would have probably started to turn blue.

Esme handed me a huge bouquet of red velvet Pansies (you'd be surprised how hard it is to find out the name of a flower just by knowing what it looks like :/ it took me forever to figure out what the darn things were called…and apparently they're the flowers that Tay loves xDDD That's hilarious!)"…Esme! I hate these kinds of Flowers! You could have given me Gardenias or Daffodils! Those are my favorite flowers!" I almost cried; I found Pansies very scary…ever since the Alice In Wonderland scene with the flowers. (That be true. XD). Emmett cheered me up by tossing a circular object at me. I quickly unwrapped it to find a Teletubby ball and I squealed with delight. And I tossed it back at Emmett. Emmett then tossed it back to me and I shouted "Yaaay" in a high-pitched voice. I tossed it back to Emmett, he did the same "Yay" in the same high-pitched voice, and we repeated that for a long while, and I wailed it over to Carlisle. Carlisle caught it, but sadly did not say "Yaaaaay"

"Carlisle! You're suppose dto say "Yaay" when you catch it…" I said and gestured for him to throw it back to me. "Like this!" I said as he threw it and I caught it. "Yaaaaayyy!!" and I then threw it back to Emmett. We repeated and threw it back to Carlisle who actually said the high-pitched "yay" that time. (Note: Me and my one friend actually Did this at my party xD but they didn't give me the ball, they found it and then figured we'd play catch…and I started the highpitched "Yaaay" thing xD I wanted to record it with my camera but she wouldn't let me. :[ Anyways…)

I then got bored with the ball and tossed it at The Pansy. "Hey Jasper, I just realized, I gave you a nickname that's the name of a scary looking flower!" I giggled and gave him the bouquet of flowers. I returned to the pyramid of cupcakes and wailed on at Edward's face. "CUPCAKE FIGHT!" I shouted and jumped on Carlisle's back and smushed one into his hair. "Hee you got Coconut Pecan icing in your hair now Lislie!" Emmett threw a handful of them at Jasper, Jasper threw a handful at Emmett. Emmett ducked out of the way and all five cupcakes hit Alice, thus ruining her new Ella Moss outfit. (Yeah, I don't pay attention to fashion designers xD Tay gave me that one.)

"JASPER WHITLOCK HALE!" Alice shouted and grabbed a dozen or so cupcakes and just kept throwing them at Jasper trying to get one into his mouth.

Just then Jeana walked through the doors, and all eight of us wailed cupcakes at her. She was covered head to toe in coconut pecan icing and German chocolate cake.

"Enough!" Jeana shouted and scolded Sophie saying, "This is no way for a princess to behave." And drug Sophie away from our party.


	10. Health Class

Because I was still pretty young, Jenean felt I should still go to school. And of course everyone else joined us. Emmett, Jasper, and I compared shedules and realized we had first period together, sex ed. I don't even know HOW it happened, they are junoirs, and I'm a sophmore, but whatever. We walked into room 207 and we all took a seat in the back right hand corner. The bell rang and our teacher finally came in.

"Howdy y'all!" said the man whith long, crinkly brown hair that was in a pony tail. He wore orange overalls, which I didn't even know they made, and a matching orange cow boy hat. I' eem(I am) Mr. Disandenafter. But if you can remember that, than just call me M. Chaussures, you know? 'Cuz it's sounds all snootywooty and what not? I don't know what it means but dees keeds(these kids) used to say i smelt like a chaussures, and dem keeds(them kids) also said I was their favorite teacher, so I mean, why would dey(they) go and lie like that? (A/N Chassures is shoes in french. I probably spelled it wrong, lmao and I've taken french for almost 4 years.) Yuh heard(you heard)?"

Mike who was sitting in front of me shouted, "HOLLA!" out, probably trying to kiss up to the teacher. That's when I realized what Mike was wearing. Baggy jeans, a shirt with explicit signs, and a 3 times too big black jacket.

"Mike?" I asked tapping him on the shoulder. "Mike!" I whisper yelled, tapping him again.

"Yo, dude, the name's M-Funk, ya heard?" He said not turning around.

I rolled my eyes, and sighed, "M-Funk?" It was more of a command than a question though.

He turned around, "Aaayy baby!" He said smirking.

"What happened to you?" I asked, a trace of...oh god, concern! In my voice. "Well after being caught video taping girls in the locker room, I was kicked out of Forks High. So it was hard to find a school in the United States that would take me, after that little incident. So I moved hear to live with my grandmother Jenean." He explained, forgetting completely about his tough guy-gangsta, fricky-fricky word ho-. "Shit." I muttered to myself, when I finally noticed I was doing that scartching thing that DJ's do with CD's only, there were no CD's and I looked crazy, and saying all this aloud.

"Heh...heh... I just get, a little excited, nothings wrong with that! So what? I'm happy to be taking sex ed! I mean c'mon, where would be if we didn'tknow how to have sex!?" I askclaimed(asked, exclaimed), standing up on my chair, I was really getting into this. "We would be dead! Or alive, maybe, but we'd be really horny all the time! But there would not be as many people in the world!" I said, ending my speech, straigtening out my blue polo, and sitting down.

"Yeah, Soph! You tell 'em!" Shouted Mike.

"Shut up, Mike!" Emmett said, throwing a stapler at him. Mike fell over gripping his head, "Yoyoyo, whudup wit dat, yo(yoyoyo what's up with that, yo)?" Asked Mike, I think.

Mr. I forgot his name, oh I know! I'll call him Fimen! (A/N Don't ask how I thought of this, I wanted to make an acronym with "I forgot his name, so somehow I got Fimen.) Anyway, he went back to talking about going into labor.

"Weel(well) this liquidical stuff breaks and you go, 'Oh mah gahwd! Mah water! My water!'" He shouted, running around like he was on fire. He grabbed a duffel bag out of the closet and said, "theen(then) you grab the duffel bag, of stuff you should have packed in advance, and run like hell!" He shouted, jumping out the window. The whole class got up to look and see where hwas going, he kepting going, got into a car, and just drove off.


	11. Enter the Second Psycho Neighbor: Zammy

**A/N: Okay so Yeah My neighbor and I were discussifying what would happen if SHE came along into our OhMyMushroom World. And well This is what happened. XD (OH! And before I get comments like "WTH!?" No, "Zammy" Isn't like this :/…okay I lie. She IS like this. Only when we're in the Clubhouse of ours xD OH and "Zammy" Talks fast when she's rocking back and forth 'n' whatnot. Or questioning to herself… actually she talks fast all the time. ) Oh and Zammy is short for Zamira. (and don't ask where the Circus tihng came from...xD) **

**Enter the SECOND psycho Neighbor: Zammy.**

**TPOV:**

Jeana suggested that we all went to the circus because it was the best circus in the world, even better than Cirque du Soleil. We figured why not and made our way to the circus tent. We arrived and got in our Skybox seats. Emmett, Sophie and I got bored and figured we could be the acrobats because they sucked, and it ended badly. We ended up crashing through the roof of the tent and landed where they kept the Elephants. Emmett landing in a giant pile of Elephant poo. "Hah! That's funny!!" Sophie and I laughed. I stood and walked over to see the elephants. "Aww it's so cute!" I said petting the one who's nameplate above the cage said "Dumbo" I saw a girl in the cage with the elephant.

"It's okay Dumbo, you'll fly one day and we'll get out of here and fly around and get peanuts!" The girl said rocking back and forth.

"Z-Zammy? is that you?" I asked as i looked at the girl who looked oddly like my neighbor. She nodded and smiled up at me.

Just then the rest of the Cullens came into the room we were in. "Carlisle!! Can we keep her?" Emmett and I chorused.

"No. We can't. And we can't keep the elephant either." Carlisle said.

"Aww! But I always wanted an elephant!" We whined.

"No!" Carlisle grabbed our arms and drug us home.

**A few Days Later...**

It was a very normal day at Originatopia palace. If you could call what The Cullens, Sophie and I do "normal." We were talking about an upcoming trip to the lake for more Tubing when all of a sudden, we…well not me, because I don't have super hearing like the Vampires…heard a tapping, tapping on our chamber window. (XD Poe reference!) Carlisle got up, pulled the curtains away. Lo and behold. It was my oh so loving neighbor. Zammy, creepy grin and all, tapping on the window. Carlisle let out a girlish scream and jumped back away from the window.

"Oh Dr. Feelgood. Its just Zammy!" I grinned

She continued her tapping, and somehow managed to actually break the window. She paused for about five minutes examining the broken glass, and then yelled. "HI!"

"Um…Hi?" The Cullens chorused. (… yay two C words in a row :])

She ran into the room and hugged me, obnoxiously tight. Just then Solina (for those of you who can't remember. That's our demonic cat that hates men (Cept for Carlisle.) and well. This is just something that happened when we watched Twilight and the guy that was thinking about a cat came on the screen. She said this exactly :]]])walked by and meowed at Sophie and I. Zammy jumped up and down and followed the cat all around the room, saying "Pussy Cat! Reeorr!" while raising her hand, then swiping the air as a cat would.

"Hey guysss can I stay here with you??" Zammy said, as Solina ran away, jumping out the window Zammy had broken.

"Umm…" They said, I just stood there laughing because I knew how weird Zammy really was and how much fun it'd be if she actually stayed.

Zammy ran over to the corner, sat down and started rocking back and forth. (note, she's talking fast.) "You guys wont even notice me! I'll just stay RIGHT HERE! I'll put up a wall so you don't have to see me. All I need is to pee and food. Please!!"

"Does she need some form of medications?" Carlisle asked glancing over at me. "I mean she's your neighbor right? You should know this stuff…"

"I Think she's fine just the way she is!" I said and sat next to her in her "corner that is hers"

She smacked me and shouted. "MY CORNER! MINE! NOT YOURS! MINE! GET OUTTA HERE!" She started rocking back and forth once more.

"Hey…how'd you even find us?" Emmett asked, hiding behind me.

"well, I climbed out of the cage and brought Dumbo here with me and we followed you the whole way home and BAM! Here I am. Sam I am. Do you like green eggs and ham???"

"I seriously think she needs some kind of medicine…." Carlisle whispered to Jasper and Esme.

"I HEARD THAT!" Zammy shouted, as she jumped up from her corner that is hers, going "Wild Cat" on Carlisle. I jumped in front of her and she was trying to claw at him over my shoulders.

"Down Zammy Down"

Just then Zammy pulled her pack of Sweet Berry Stride gum and shoved it in everyone's face saying "SMELL IT! It smells like Purple skittles!!" She then held it up to her nose and inhaled deeply.

"Zammy…" I said grabbing her arm.

"WHAT?!" she shouted and jumped away from me.

"Um I was just going to show you to your room Zam."

I grabbed her suitcase from the window pulley that she used to get to the floor we were at, and began to drag her down the hallway. She started muttering to herself. "I don't know if I should be doing this…the voices in my head are telling me not to, but I want to, and they're telling me not to, should I be doing this???"

I led her to the bed and made her sit down. I gave her a shiny object to keep her preoccupied. I rummaged through her things and found the Ball we'd been playing with for…I can't remember exactly how long, but we vowed never to stop playing with it until it went flat after we found it. I grinned. "Zammyyy I got an idea."

"OOH yay Idea!" She said excitedly jumping up and down on the bed.

I shoved the ball up my shirt and walked back out to the room. Zammy following. "Emmett…I have some bad news…I'm pregnant. And…ZAMMY'S THE FATHER!" I said dramatically, pointing at Zammy, who was back to following the cat saying "pussy cat Reeorr" and doing the hand motion.

"That's going to be one messed up kid…" Emmett said laughing.

"Shh!! If Zammy hears you she'll go "Wild cat" on you like she tried to do with Carlisle. And it's not pretty when she goes Wild Cat." I grinned.

"Okay then."

"…Oh and Emmett, the baby's due any moment now." I grinned. I went to the kitchen, grabbed a water bottle, and then Squirted some out on to the floor. "Oh mah gahwd! Mah water! Mah water!" I shouted running around in circles as if my pants were on fire. Sophie had told me about the Health Class incident and I figured why not put it to use. The whole Cullen bunch and Sophie, and Zammy came running into the room.

I yanked the "baby" out of my shirt and said. "It's a girl! Lets name her Blue Star!" I shouted, holding it over my head. (Note: I Left after the Smell it incident, and this is what we did the whole time I was gone, xD) I threw it to Zammy and Zammy smiled widely and said "My baby!" Curling it to her chest. She threw it back to me and I sat down on the kitchen floor. Blue Star rolled out of my lap and towards Emmett. "Emmett's Bumpa!" (Lol Reference to my other fanfic. For those of you who don't get it, and haven't read I Will Try To Fix You, Tali had kids and they called Carlisle "Bumpa" For Grandpa.. ) Emmett then proceeded to act like an old man, knowing what "Bumpa" meant. "Um Zammy, I think Blue Star wants to run away from us." (Note! We both hate violence towards children. But well, we're insane when we get together. So don't be all "OMG you're so cruel to your 'child') Zammy grabbed Blue Star and smacked her against the floor.

"BAD BLUE STAR! BAD!" She shouted.

"Z-Zammy, I think she learned her lesson." I said taking the baby away from her.

We then set up a "net" using a mop and then started a game that was basically, Dodge ball, Volley-ball and Soccer all in one. I threw the baby at Zammy and she caught it. We both shouted "yay bonus points!" in a high-pitched voice. She then threw it back to me, and I hit it off my knee over to her. It hit the counter. "Point for Tali!" We both shouted in the same voice.

"These two would make Lovely parents." Carlisle muttered.

Bumpa then tried to steal the baby from us and we screamed, loudly. "OUR BABY!" we shouted, clinging the "baby" towards us.

We then started to play Catch with our baby, playing "Bumpa in the middle."

Zammy rocked back and forth muttering that she didn't know if she should be doing this, yet again. Carlisle then gave her some pills to make her 'normal'. "They changed color!" She shouted as she flipped from the green side of the pill to the yellow side. (We were discussing this one last night, while playing with a 90 second hourglass it had 3 colors yellow, green and white ) She threw it at Carlisle and said it was "icky" She then proceeded to raid the cupboard to find, a bunch of Avocadoes. (Thanks to Sophie Who suggested something about avocadoes so it threw them in.) She then started an "avocado" fight. I was the only one who joined in and we let the servants of the palace clean up the mess afterwards.


	12. Sophie Hates Zammy!

A/N As well all know I'm not one for doing large author notes that take up most of the page that my story is written on *coug cough* TALI!! *cough cough* Hopefully when we post this the pro's con's list won't get messed up from it's format, if it does than um....you can probably guess which ones are pro's and which one's are con's so yeah.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Sophie, and this story idea, etc.

Lalala-lalopittyda. Hehe I made a new tune, I giggled. I was sitting on my queen sized, please ignore the pun, bed in plaid green, blue, and white pj bottoms, and a light grey cami. I tapped my chin with my balding face pen, and looked intensly at my notepad.

The Pro's and Con's of Zammy

Pro's Con's

- Well, Tali and Emmett like her.-Everyone else hates her.

- I could make her sleep in the laundry room - She'd probably like it there.

- If she wasn't so hyper she'd be pretty fun to hangout with.-Like that'll ever happen.

- She's too loud..

- It would be good for publicity, I mean taking in an orphan mole child...

"Hmph." I said pouting, the pro's and con's were even. Ugh I hate this. I hate her. I hate this place. I hate ruling. It's too much pressurizedositically for me! I mean Jeana's got me out of the house for atleast 18 hours a day, Zammy just tried to eat the gardener, and some of his tools, and Emmett and Tali refuse to believe that they aren't dogs!

And to make matters worse, Zammy has taken refufe in the corner of my room and is worshipping her Jasper shrine, I looked more closely, oh god, she had part of the gardeners hat in her mouth. I sighed, I don't even know how, but Tali, and Em convinced Carlisle to let them take the Elephant home, so Dumbo also found refuge in my room. Given it was a big room, but still!

I threw my hands up in the air, "OY-FREAKING-VAY!" I shouted.

I heard a quiet tapping at the door. I sighed, "you might as well come in too, everyone else is!" I shouted.

Someone, I would NEVER expect in a million years stepped in, high heeled shoes, skinny jeans, and a fire engine red camisole, Rosalie.

"OMG! ROSALIE!" I squealed and v-jumped on her from my bed, which was a good 30 feet, hey the room was big.

She smiled brightly. "Well this is awkward." I said, letting go. "I thought you always hated me, well 'cause of the Edward thing..." I said.

"No, that was just an act, I just always hated Bella period. Too damsel-in-destress like," She said casually."

"You know what? I always felt the same way! God she really got on my nerves." I agreed. "Well anyway, what're you doing here?" I asked.

"Well, you know when I "asploded"?" She asked.

"Yeah.." I said.

"I was actually 'zapped' to this place. And just been hanging around. I was actually at the circus and saw you guys crash that place, so I followed you guys to here!" She explained, cheerily.

"Thank god, I needed someone evil mind to help take down this girl. She's already eyeing Jasper, and Edward and I hate her. Alice and Esme think she's cute. Emmett's all buddy buddy with her also. And she used to be Tali and my neighbor, but I always hated her." I said.

"Hm..." She said, tapping her chin with her french manicured nail. "I've got it!" She exclaimed a minuite later thrusting her finger into the air, with a 'EUREKA!' expression. "okay, I'm going to need...3 tubs of pudding, 5 pounds of live lobsters, silver sparkly duct tape....and a couple of human sized cages.." She said.

I wrote it all down, grabbed a wad of cash, and we both shot out the door.

Two minutes later we were casually walking into Super Target, trying to be descreet(sp) but obviously people were going to stare, because A.) I was the queen of this damn place, and b.) vampire beauty. It was flattering that people looked but it got annoying, anyways.

We split up going down all the isles searching for what we needed. One of the awesomest perks of being a vampire, and queen, is people listened to your every word. I went up to the courtesy desk, where a semi-sweaty, messy haired boy who was about 16 was reading a playboy magazine.

"Um, excuse me?" I asked politely, tapping on the counter.

The boy jumped up and quickly hid his magazine, "y-yeah?" he asked, blushing.

"Yeah, um, Chet?" I asked reading his name tag, "I was wondering if you guys carried kennel/cages about 7ft x 7ft?" I asked, smiling sweetly.

He blushed beat red, "y-yea.. well n-no, but I can get you some if you need them? How many do you need?" He asked.

"Three," I heard Rosalie whisper from a couple isles down.

"Three, please." I said.

He ran out of the store and ten minutes later came back with a dolly( you know those mini cart things that help move heavy things around) and 3 kennel-cages stacked on top of one another.

"This is perfect!" I squealed, and hugged the boy. I handed him a couple thousand dollars, grabbed the dolly and shot down the isle to find Rosalie wrestling with a very large blonde woman.

"Rosalie...." I started to say but she cut me off.

"Hold on, Soph!" She said, grunting, " I almost got it!"

"Got wha-" I started to ask but than I saw she was wrestling for the last lobster, the cart was already full but obviously, Rose had to have the last of it.

We were also able to buy out the whole pudding stock, and than had to resort to gettin the supply of it they had in the back, and same with the duct tape. We paid for everything else and made our merry way out of the store, half way across the road from the store to my car, we were stopped suddenly by a black ferrari. We both screamed and dropped everything.

Alice stepped out of the car in all leather clothing, and two large shoping bags.

"I want in, too." She said, smiling wickedly.

We gathered the stuff and packed in into the cars and made our way to the BDZ head quarters. Or better known as, Bring Down Zammy head quarters.


	13. We're on a Boat!

**A/N: Okay, well I mentioned Tubing in my last chapter (Where Zammy came into play) and then I heard this awesome song. "I'm On A Boat" and I could picture Jasper and Emmett shouting tihs when they're on a boat. (If you want to listen to it, then search The Lonely Island(artist) Incredibad(album) I'm On A Boat(Song) and try to find it :/ My boyfriend gave it to me...so I have no idea where he found it. xD and yes this is a real song. (just so we don't get comments like we did with the karaoke scene all "Is that a real song??") Oh and well this one took so long because I could only think of the I'm On A Boat! thing and well it took a while for me to come up with something else xD Oh and it was either Carlisle or Edward for the T-Pain part (Yeah, T-Pain sang in this lovely song. xD) and I was all "Crapp neither of them would swear this much...espescially about a boat!...Oh well, we can just say that Sophie brought out the Rapper Side of Edward. :]" **

**WARNING! There are a lot of profanities in this song. For those of you not comfortable with profanities...I suggest you not read the song :/ even if it's funny. It says the M**F** and the F*** word A LOT. Just warning you so I dont' get comments like "OMG How could you put this song in there! It's so bad! They swear so much!" **

**TPOV: **

We figured we'd actually go tubing again since we had so much fun last time. This time we actually brought life vests and floaties for me, and Zammy just to make sure we didn't drown. We drove to the nearest lake in Originatopia, named Matpofayoo Lake, towing the boat behind us. As soon as we set up the boat and set sail, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward started signing.

Jasper and Emmett, harmonizing. With Edward in the background. (and here's the format. Jasper and Emmett (Singing together the whole time.) will be normal...**Edward's singing will be Bolded.**)

**Shortayyyy** Aww shit  
Get your towels ready it's about to go down **shorty, yeah**  
Everybody in the place hit the fuckin deck **shorty, yeah**  
But stay on your motherfuckin toes  
We runnin this, let's go

I'm on a boat **I'm on a boat  
**I'm on a boat **I'm on a boat**  
Everybody look at me cause I'm sailin on a boat **sailin on a boat**  
I'm on a boat **I'm on a boat**  
I'm on a boat  
Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat **boat, yeah**

I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me  
Straight flowin on a boat on the deep blue sea  
Bustin five knots, wind whippin out my coat  
You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat

Take a picture, trick **trick** I'm on a boat, bitch **bitch**  
We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp **crisp**  
I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies  
I'm flippin burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin copies

I'm ridin on a dolphin, doin flips and shit  
The dolphin's splashin, gettin e'rybody all wet  
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets  
I'm on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget

I'm on a boat and, it's goin fast and  
I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan  
I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo  
If you're on the shore, then you're sho' not me-oh  
**Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!!!**

Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker **motherfucker  
**Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker **motherfucker  
**I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker **yeah**  
This boat engine make noise, motherfucker **The boat engine make noise motherfucker! **

Hey ma, if you could see me now **see me now**  
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow **starboard bow**  
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow **moon** **somehow**  
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible

**Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat  
It's a big blue watery road yeah  
Poseidon!! Look at me, oh all hands on deck  
Never thought I'd see the day  
When a big boat comin my way  
Believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid**

I'm on a boat **I'm on a boat  
**I'm on a boat **I'm on a boat**  
Everybody look at me cause I'm sailin on a boat **sailin on a boat**  
I'm on a boat **I'm on a boat**  
I'm on a boat  
Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat **boat, yeah**

**Whoahhh  
Sha-sha-shorty, shorty  
Yeah yeah yeahhh**

After that lovely moment of bursting into random song, we realised, we forgot the most important things needed for tubing. The tubes! So we all just jumped into the water and started swimming around. Zammy found some kind of stick and was amazed by it and screamed loudly. Sophie and Edward exchanged a glance and nodded at each other, swimming over to Zammy each grabbing one of her arms.

"Are we going to be friends?" Zammy asked widneing her eyes and grinning.

"Yeah friends." They said together...and then proceeded to try and drown Zammy, claiming it was a 'game'.

"EDWARD! SOPHIE! Is this any way to behave towards a poor human being?!" I shouted, the rest of the Cullens turned to face Edward, Sophie, and Zammy. Zammy was still smiling even though she had a mouth full of water.

"Edward...I'm dissappointed in you I always thought you would never hurt a poor human..." Carlisle scolded. Edward just sat there and looked innocent, as did Sophie.

"Okay let's just go home..." I said as I dragged Zammy back to the boat. the whole way back to shore Edward, Jasper and Emmett sang Jizz in my Pants (another good The Lonely Island song. go find that one too it's hillarous!)


	14. Power Outage!

A/N: HEY HEY HEY! IT'S TALI!! Aw, it doesn't rhyme. ;-; Oh wells. Anyways. I've been playing Sims for like hours upon hours upon hours! I think Sophie was trying to tease me with the Sims chapter. ;-; She KNEW I bought Sims 2 Double Deluxe but couldn't use it because of the DVD rom thing that we didn't have. xD But i finally got it working and i've played it for days straight. ._.' Um yeah. Not really Days straight, but I DID stay up til 3 AM playing once xD. ANyways this has nothing to do with the story. xD well it kinda does....*everyone: GET ON WITH THE CHAPTER!*...Oh be quiet. I'm having fun rambling. ANyways, It's been raining for the last few days too, and I just remembered some fun moments from sleepovers i've had when the power went out...xD fun times...but he last ihng that happens in this chapter, before the power comes back on, is what me an dmy friends basically did untli the power came back on when I had my sleep over xD on with the chappy.

TPOV:

Edward's Estrogen run finally wore off, Mike went to wherever he's supposed to be, and I installed Sophie's Sims game on my computer so that I could play it in the privacy of the bedroom that belonged to Emmett and me. Sophie was still chilling in the living room, watching TV, and Playing Sims. Carlisle was still checking up on his Chicken, Esme was...off being Esme, Rosalie and Alice were still plotting evil schemes, and Zammy and Dumbo moved to my room. I potty-trained Dumbo to go poo out the window. Sadly, Esme's garden was right outside our window. i explained to her that i was helping her with the fertilizer when she saw a pile of Elephant crap in her garden on some of her Pansies.(Yes, I hate pansies so much that I made an elephant take a dump on some. They're creepy.)

Anyways, out of nowhere, stormclouds appeared and rain started pouring down from the sky. "Aw sky! Don't be sad! I don't like it when things cry!!" I said, poking my head out the window. Just then a bolt of lightning struck the ground, I squealed and jumped away from the window, out the door and managed to almost fall down the stairs. I ran back to the room grabbed Sapphire (My mp3 player.(it's blue. xD I couldn't tihnk of anything better) It took me forever to find a good name for it, because my friends (including Sophie) Refused to help me or just gave me stupidnames that I hate. Like Sasha, and Sandra. (No offence to any Sasha's and Sandra's reading this. I hate the name. Not people with the name. xD)) And ran downstairs to the livingroom shouting that the sky was sad. Just then Thunder went off, me being terrified of lightning and thunder I squealed and dove to find cover. I somehow found myself with my face burried in Carlisle's lap.

"Um. Hi." He patted my head.

"Gah! Hi Carlisle!" I said, as always, pronouncing the s.

"I've told you, time nad time again, It's car-Lyle. not lis-le. Anyways, why are you, well, burrying your face in my crotchal area."

"Hee, you said crotchal." I giggled and rolled off the couch. "And I don't like thunder, it's scary--" Another clap of thunder, another squeal from me. Emmett came in from the kitchen with some Ore Ida Fast Food fries (Omg. I had a whole frickin bag of 'em today. they were yummy! Tasted like burgerking fries!! Go get 'em!!! I'm Advertising. xDDD Okay onwards.) and some ketchup. "YAY! I Love you even more now Emmy!" I shouted, and flung myself at him, almost making him drop the fries on the nice white carpet. (Which would have left a massive ketchup stain for the maids to clean up and thta's just mean making maids do their job.) While Emmett was playing boobsketball with some of the crispier fries that I refused to eat (seriously, I do not eat the crispy fries, I give 'em away to people..xD) and I was stuffing at least ten at a time in my mouth, The rest of the gang came down to the living room. Jasper and Sophie were playing some form of fighting game, I tihnk it was Mortal Kombat, or maybe Soul Calibur 3. Alice and Rosalie were STILL scheming. Esme was cleaning something, onec again, giving the maids Nothing to do. Carlisle was givi--well TRYING to give Zammy her happy pills, wihle Zammy kept trying to bite his hand off. Solina (for those of you who don't remember that's the cat. xD) came down and started purring and cuddling with my legs.

Every time a clap of thunder or a flash of lightning went off I'd squeal, the Cullen's would laugh and Emmett would try to make me stop burrying my face into some random area on him. Finally one of the bolts of lightnings struck one of the powerlines and shut the power off. I screamed, loudly. Carlisle went to find some candles. Once the candles were lit, one placed in every room of the palace. (what a waste of candles...) I dug around in my pocket for Sapphire. "AHA! I Found you!" I said holding up Sapphire, and for some reason i did it rather aggressively and Sapphire flew out of my hand, almost landing on the candle. "GAH!" I ran over to her and held her, stroking her whispering "it's okay baby, I won' t let the big bad fire hurt you."

I threw an earbud at Emmett and placed the other in my ear. (time for my Tricky Sticky(I spilled pop on it so it's sticky, which makes it tricky to switch songs and scroll through lists xD) Sansa to give me some random song. *Presses button* ...Okay, no RENT music. xD...*presses Next button again.*) Emmett and I started singing along with Flowers by Brad Paisley. (Good song. xD oh and these are the lyrics (at least how I hear 'em xD) But you don't have to read 'em if you dont want. ) "Long stemmed things of beauty, created by the good lord, and cut down in the prime of their lives. Boxed up wrapped in paper, delivered to your front door, just to wind up in your garbage can, outside. Tell me, how many flowers have to die? Before you give this love, another try? I've asked you to forgive me at least nine dozen times! Tell me how, many flowers, have to die? I'm crazy, an di'm depserate, I had you and I blew it! And right now, I've got nothing left to lose. But i've got a Visa, in my wallet, and i'm not afraid to use it. How long the needless violence lasts, it's relaly up to you. Tell me, how many flowers have to die? before you give tihs love another try? I've asked you to forgive me, at least Ten dozen times! Tell me how many flowers have to die? Stop the sensless killing! Can't you hear those roses cry? Baby how many flowers have to die? Tell me how, many flowers have to die?"

We continued through to the next song, Between A Bridge And A Bullen Train by Suicide Project (the begining is just like :/ wow, lot of "F-You! *random Rock band.*") When I spotted the battery life. "OH NO! Sapphire is going to die! She wants to Suicide!" I cried. "CPR!" I shouted "Emmett! blow into her mouth. I'll do the chest compressions!" I said, poking the button in the middle of the wheel that controlls the volume and scrolls through the lists. Emmett blew into the slot where the charger plugs in. "Em! You're giving her CPR in her vaginal area! Wrong place dum-dum!" He then removed the microSD Card and blew in there, looking up at me with an expression that said "This right?" I sighed. "you're horrible at this. Her mouth is here." I said pointing at the microphone next to the microSD card slot. "Now put that back in you just took part of her brain out."

"GAH! I got Sapphire brains in my hand!" He shouted shoving it back in. Sadly, our CPR methods didn't work and poor Sapphire died.

"OOH! I KNOW! We can plug the charger in and charge it---FRICKERNUTTERS! The powers out!" I said, curling down into a ball and rocking back and forth. "OOOH! Let's play a game!"

"NO! NO NO NO!" Edward shouted from the couch as Alice shouted "YES YES YES!!"

Everyone else gave me a look saying "Explain."

"We...can...play...HAVE YOU EVER! Y'know, it's like that drinking game, I Never, only without drinking and well you don't say "I Never blah blah blah" You ask "have you ever...blah blah blah. or "Does such and such do Such and such" Well really just random questions to get to know how impure your friends truly are." I winked

Everyone but Edward said, "I'm In" and we forced Edward to play. "Okay! I'll go first. Oh and guys, no ask-backs. Meaning, don't ask the person who asked you otherwise it'll just be an endless loop of the two people asking each other questions" I said grinning. "First victim, first victim...who oh who shall it be?" I asked rubbing my hands together. "EDWARD!"I Shouted, pausing for a dramatic effect, pointing at him. He glanced up from his fetal position rocking back and forthing, and pure fear filled his face. (flips through my Purity Test book to find some odd really embarrassing question to ask.) "Does the thought of having Sex with a Robot turn you on? Well, Does it? DOES IT?!" I shouted, gettin all up in Edward's face.

"No..." He said, still looking scared shitless...wait, he already is Shitless, so he can't get scared shitless...well darn. "Okay...Um...Sophie....Have You Ever ummm..." I got up and grabbed my Purity Test book, chucking it at him. "here this should give you some ideas." I said with a wink. He opened the book glanced down and quickly asked. "Have you ever faked a fear of spiders to let a man be a man?"

"Umm not that I know of." Sophie said shrugging her shoulders. She then turned to Alice. "Have you ever worn something that you thought was Hideoterous just to make someone happy?"

"Um and give up my fashion sense for someone elses happiness? Naw I'm kidding, but no one ever gave me something Hideous so I wouldn't know." She turned to me. "So Tali...Have you Ever...um...gone dumpster-diving?"

"Erms. Does taking things that people just throw away that weren't really in a garbage can or dumpster count?" I asked, glancing from side to side.

A handful of really embarrassing(cough -sexual-cough cough) questions later.....(and here comes the part where me and my friends inspired tihs. xD These are most of the exact questions...xD)

We got bored with the Have you ever game and just sat there waiting for the lights to come back on. "Oh my gosh! What if a tree falls on the house?" Emmett and I shouted.

"Um..that's impossible because this Palace is taller than any tree out there." Carlisle said.

"OH MY GOSH! What happens if the candle in the bathroom falls over, hits the toilet paper and catches it on fire??"

"Um...it'll burn down the house? or we can get someone to put it out."

"OH MY GOSH! What if. WE RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER!"

"..Then we run out of toilet paper, big deal."

"WHAT IF EMMETT GETS HORNY!" I Shieked

"Then I get horny and Edward gets to hear my dirty thoughts, and Alice gets to see the dirty actions before they happen, and Jasper gets to feel all my dirty feelings, and the rest of them get a nice show." Emmett winked.

"What if a giant horde of Spiders come in and start peeing on us?" I asked. (I'm just making up random events that could happen, but probably...actually...would Never Ever happen. xD)

"Um. That'd be very weird and you'd probably be freaking out." Carlisle and Emmett said.

"What. If....Um...The couches come to life and try to rape Carlisle!" I shouted.

The night continued like that, with questions such as, "What if the Pansies in Esme's garden grow wild and break into the house and eats me!" and "What if the windows randomly blow out and we all go flying out the window!" and the oh so popular, "What if the basement explodes and the house collapses!"

Finally Emmett and I shouted "WHAT IF THE LIGHTS COME BACK ON!"

"Then we have power and we'll be able to stop the What If's." Everyone responded, and the lights were back on.

"AH!" Emmett and I Screamed. "No! We don't want to stop with the What If's!"


	15. Tali's Sick

A/N: Heeey Long time no see! :] I've been busy with portfolio crap and I've been super sick for the last week ;-; So Tay thought it would be fun for her and Edward to go camping in the mountains of Originatopia the family to go to the Island near Originatopia and Emmett stays home with me and I get sick :/ Okay anyways onward with the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: We Do NOT Own Twilight, Or New Moon, Or Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn, or any other product that we did not create. Onward to the chapter :] But Agaygoitia and Beardaytwim are my own creations :]

TPOV:

"Guys why do you have to go to Agaygoitia?" (Oh and I'll explain the names in the second A/N xD) I complained clinging to Carlisle's leg. Zammy went home a few days ago, never to bother us again, because she was sent back to the loony bin by her parents.

"Yes, we do, we need a break from this house and that Island with the unpronounceable name is where we're going." Carlisle said grabbing his suitcase and shaking me off of his leg.

"But, but, but! I'm feeling sick!!" I said, faking a cough.

"That's a fake cough, and we're going, if you really need us then call my cell phone or something." Carlisle said taking Esme, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie with him as they went out the door.

"And do you two really have to go to Beardaytwim?" I turned to Edward and Sophie with a sad tone in my voice.

"Oh stop your complaining, you have Emmett with you." Edward said grabbing Sophie's hand and leaving.

"So what do you want to do Emmy?" I asked smiling.

"Listen to music? Jump on the couch? Torture the maid?" Emmett trailed off.

"Ooh sounds like fun!" I clapped and jumped up and down. Emmett turned the stereo on, plugged it into the surround sound. We started singing after climbing up on the couch and jumping. "She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find, that what you're looking for has been here the whole time" I started doing a dance that Zammy and I created. I pretended to clean out my ears with a Q-Tip, then throw it away, then I started a lawn mower, then I washed the car, I then went shopping grabbing imaginary food from shelves, dropping the first two in an imaginary cart, making a face at the third one and putting it back on the shelf, after that, I pretended a guy stopped in front of me and jumped backwards, waving my arms in front of me, then pretended to punch him in the face then made a rainbow above my head. While saying "Do the Q-tip, Do the Q-tip, throw it away, throw it away, start the lawn mower, start the lawn mower, wash the car, wash the car, go shopping, go shopping, Guy stops in front of you! Guy stops in front of you! So you punch him in the face, punch him in the face, and everything's all better, all better" This caused Emmett to look at me with a look that screamed, 'what the hell was that?'

"OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS SONG!" I shouted as I Want to Kiss a Girl by Keith Urban started playing. "I wanna kiss a girl, I wanna hold her tight maybe make a little magic in the moonlight! Don't wanna go too far just to take it slow but I shouldn't be lonely in this big old world I wanna kiss a girl!" I sang loudly, when all of a sudden my back neck and head started having major pains. "OW, OW, OW!" I yelled trying to hold my neck, back and head all at the same time. I fell down onto the couch that we were jumping on.

"What's wrong babe?" Emmett asked jumping off of the couch and kneeling down on the floor next to my head.

"Oh nothing, just extreme back, neck and head pain…it'll pass." I waved it off with my hand. "Oh no…Emmett, I suggest you move…"

"What wh—" he started, but sadly he didn't move and I blew chunks all over him. "EWWWWW Tali! What the hell?"

"Ugh, that was unpleasant…" I sighed. "Emmy, can you make me some soup? Please?"

He nodded and ran off to make me chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side! (Sorry couldn't help it xD)

As I ate my soup, slurping the whole time, Emmett tried to call Carlisle to get him home to take care of me because Emmett couldn't do it on his own, because…well, he's Emmett…not too hard to see why he can't take care of a human being on his own…. he was barely able to take care of his rabbit from the incident after our chair spinning…

"Carlisle! Taliana is sick for real this time she puked on me! What should I do…oh…. um…Hey Tali! What are your symptoms?"

"Nausea, heart burn indigestion upset stomach Diarrhea! YAY PEPTO BISMOL!" I sang with a grin. "But really, Nausea, back pains, headache, neck pain, abdominal pain, sleepiness, and," I belched a nice long burp at that moment. "And apparently gas."

"Um, she sang the Pepto-Bismol song and then said that she has nausea, back pains, headaches neck pain abdominal pains, sleepiness, and apparently gas." Emmett repeated.

"OH! And I think I might have some form of diarrhea!" I shouted after taking another slurp of soup then laying back down on the couch.

"and diarrhea too…mmhmm…okay…I'll tell her that. Bye daddy!" Emmett said, sounding adorable when he said 'daddy'

"What did the doc say?" I asked rolling onto my side so I could see Emmett and not be looking at the ceiling.

"Eat chicken noodle soup until they get back…"

"Yippie…" I muttered.

The rest of the evening went on with Emmett singing obnoxiously loud, with me trying to teach him my crazy dance that I did during the Taylor Swift song earlier. I then fell asleep and I have no idea what Emmett did after that. Probably tortured the poor maid like he planned to do earlier before I got sick.


	16. Camping Trip

After a three hour drive, and we were driving pretty fast, we made it to Kawichie Lake. He grabbed ou stuff and I rushed to the cabin. Upon opening the door, I screamed. A family of bats flew over my head, I dropped to the ground covering my head.

"Hey hun, by the way, I thought it's time for you to meet the rest of the family." Edward said, coming up behind me.

I stared at him bewildered, "but I thought you sai- and that vampire's aren't ba-" I said slowly.

"I was kidding," he said cracking a smile and taking my hand, guiding me into our cabin. It was quite pretty, there was already a fire going, and a moose's head hung over the fire place. A large over stuffed leather couch was in front of the fire, only sepearted by a polar bear's fur. I winced, it screamed animal cruelty, not that the Cullens, and I were any better..

Edward looked at me confused.

"I don't know, I just feel bad about all the dead animals.." I stated, extending my arms across the room in a arm lengthy gesture.

"Oh," he said nodding with recognition to my delema, "well we could stay somewhere els-" he couldn't even finish his sentence. I grabbed him and all of our luggage, put it into the car and sat bouncing in the passenger seat.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked chuckling.

"Omigod! I know!" I exclaimed, "okay, just make like three lefts and 7 rights." I said.

He stared at me and cocked his head to the left.

"Argh! Just let me drive!" I exclamied crawling onto the drivers seat, which was basically his lap.

I took control of the wheel, and told him when to press the gas petal. It worked out well and in a half hour we ended up at Niagra Falls. We set up camp right under the waterfall. It was quite pretty.

After night fall I finally remembered to check my cell phone. I had 39 text messages. All of mix of "I miss you" or "I'm sick and Emmett's trying to eat my carrots" OR Edward and my favorite "I want my monkeys back! SOPHIEEE GIMME MY MONKEYS BACK! Emmett's gonna get you!". They went on and on. I decided to go out into the woods and call Tali.

Once I got a hold of her, she thouht of a great idea, talking in text.

"O.K TTYL!" I said cheerily into the phone.

"Back!" I said throwing my hands up in the air like I was jumping out of a cake.

Edward chuckled, "What's up with Tali and Emmett?"

"NmJc" I said matter-of-factly.

"What?" He asked.

"I said...NMJC! Don't you speak text?" I asked.

"Well, out of all the languages I DO speak, I'm afraid text isn't one of them.." He replied.

"Too Bd" I said, smiling.

"Why's that?" He asked.

"'Cuz dats me n Tal's new way of talking. Leh duh!" I said cheerfully.

And through the rest of the week long trip, I annoyed him to no end with my constant text talk.

A/N

G2G! Ha. =]


	17. Green Wallpaper & KFC

A/N: Hey Hey Hey!!! It's Tali!!!! :] Okay I have a lot more time to be writing and doodling because School's Out for summer! And if you start singing Alice Cooper's School's Out...I will shoot you with my mayonaise Squirt gun. I heard that song at least 43943892789 times yesterday. In Fact on my dA(deviantArt) Account Tali-The-Vampire-831 I have a nice new ID That has both Taliana and Lamia (My other, darker half) back to back. My loving boyfriend Arzeron photoshopped some backgrounds and added a few things that I could not draw myself. But other than that it's good :] Also I'm working on an Original story Which I can't put anywhere becaues well they don't like my method of doing things on every site out there.... And Remember Lovies! If you want to see any of Our stuff and not be on Fanfiction or Fictionpress or dA. Then Go to My Website! .org That is all for an A/N this time Around. :] Which it had Notihng to do with the chappy but whatevs. Speaking of Chappy. Don't Ask About where tihs came from...Just another one of Sophie and mine's brainstorming things But the first half, I got inspired by a horrible short story that I keep getting reminded of xDD It's like about this woman who gets shut into tihs room. with hideoterous sickly yellow, wall paper. The paint in the girls bathroom of the Sophomore hallway is a sicky yellow, I was reminded of that story there, and my Bf is sending me a song called "Yellow Room" by Yiruma. xD Another reminder... OH! 'nuther random note! My Wondreful WONDERFUL! Friend sent me a better version of Bella's Lullaby. All Piano, No crappy other instruments to ruin it. I also go ta few other songs from the same person. Yiruma. The Bella's Lullaby is called The River Flows In You. Go search for it, it is Beautiful! Not as beautiful as Kiss the Rain but still beautiful! :] Onwards to the Disclaimer!

DISCLAIMERRR!!: *Spoken really fast, too fast to even understand* We do not own Twilight, Edward, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Bella, Colonel Sanders, The Yellow Wallpaper or KFC. That is all! On with the story!!

Chappy..Ppssst what number are we on?

A Trip to Kentucky!

Tali's Point of View:

While I had my poor poor sickness, I spent my time sketching, coloring, and writing random stories also playing The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, and Ocarina of Time. I was in the midst of playing Ocarina of Time at the moment. "Oh you Stupid stupid STUPID! Fairy! Stop telling me that I can open doors with A and that I should "watch out!" and "Listen!" if I could, I would jump in that game, grab one of Link's bottles, shove you into it, shake it up, then shove an Ice arrow into there and freeze your ass!" I shouted at the TV. Emmett then told me that the rest of the family was going to be coming home soon. "Emmett! I have a great idea!!" I shouted.

"What?"

"Lets, Reinact the Yellow Wallpaper!"

"Yellow....Wallpaper? What's that?"

"It's a short story that I read in English class this year! It's about this depressed chick, who's husband is a doctor but keeps telling her the opposite of what we'd tell her to do today, and it drives her nuts" I said with a grin. "I wanna go nuts and show Carlisle what happens when he leaves me and you unattended when I'm sick." I laughed. "Now lets go find the room with the ugliest wall paper in the house."

We ran up the stairs and made it all the way up to the fourth floor of the castle of one floor Alice hadn't completely renovated. The walls were a very gross looking green. Probably what boogers looked like. The pattern on the wallpaper was almost Identical to the paterns mentioned in the short story. I Laughed. "This is perfect!" I told Emmett to lay down on the ground pretending to be passed out, and I went to the bathroom, shoved gel into my hair and made it stick out every which way. I made this crazed expression and proceeded to walk around the room, hand on the wall, just stepping over Emmett when I came to him. I muttered nonsense to myself about how there was a woman hiding behind the wall paper trying to get out. I also kept having a random spasm at random intervals to make me look even more insane.

Everyone came upstairs when they came through the door because with their superhuman hearing they could hear my muttering and walking as if I were shouting and I was stomping around. When they opened the door I turned on them and shouted in gibberish.

"Hello to you too..." Jasper said with a small chuckle.

"What happened here?" Carlisle asked looking bewildered.

"Tali doesn't like being left home alone with an Imbecile when she's sick. She'd rather have a nice doctor to take care of her. But no, Mr. 'nice' Doctor man told Tali to eat soup and rest. Tali wants to tell Mr. Nice Doctor Man that eating soup and resting did nothing..." I said quite seriously, glad that Sophie and Edward were not supposed to come back for another few hours. If Edward was here, they would know that I was faking insanity.

"Tali...are you okay?" Carlisle said, approaching me very slowly, hands raised as if showing me that he didn't have a weapon. I wanted to burst out with laughter, but instead I surpressed it and jumped away from Carlisle and onto the bed, which had a comforter that matched the icky booger colored walls.

I then put on my 'demon' voice as my one friend calls it (He calls my shouting voice (Specially when i'm PMSing and want chocolate) my 'demon voice.' ) and shouted more gibberish. The looks on everyone's face were priceless. Emmett pretended to 'come to' and ran behind Carlisle saying "Daddy She went crazy..." very innocently. "She tried to eat me...becaues I ate her carrots and because Sophie refused to reply to her and give her her monkey's back."

I proceeded to make random hissing noises and demanded my monkeys. I looked around at everyone's faces, Emmett and Alice were the only ones who knew what I was doing, Rosalie kept rolling her eyes as if to say 'i'm surprised they're concerned now, she's been crazy this whole time...' Esme's look was very sad and concerned, Jasper looked as if he was about to shit his pants because i kept randomly having mood swings, Carlisle was wide eyed and amazed that I could go crazy like this in such a short amount of time. Just then Sophie and Edward came up to the bedroom we were in. I was crouched down on the bed, about to pounce on Carlisle to attempt to bite him. I figured I might as well do it before Edward busted me and ruined my fun. So I jumped on Carlisle and proceeded to gnaw at him, huge grin on my face while gnawing.

"Guys, she's faking it...She hasn't gone insa--...well she was half way there before, but she's still just halfway there, Not completley loony bin material yet." I thought 'Thanks for lettin me have my fun before busting me!' at Edward and winked.

After a while we got bored, I apologised to everyone for pretending to go nuts and making them worry so much. I then had a random craving for KFC, which was odd because I strongly dislike Kentucky Fried Chicken. Sadly there were no KFC's in Originatopia so I forced Sophie, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Edward and Carlisle to take me to Kentucky to find Colonel Sanders and tell him to make me some original recipe chicken pronto. We knocked on nearly every door in Kentucky until we finally found a Sanders family. Emmett kicked in the door and shouted "Where's the Colonel!" the family just sighed and shook their head. Edward let out a small chuckle and whispered to me "they're thinking about how they should change their last name because this happens every other week." Surprisingly they did make some pretty darn good chicken we ate, thanked them for the meal gave them money to fix their door, I played with their cute litle Pomeranian puppy, we then went back home and I rested up for another day of our crazy shinanigains.


	18. Crossdressing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, that's Stephenie Meyer's job. I don't own Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, Hollister, UGG, or any other clothing brand that I named. I also don't own Scary Movie Two, or Life Time.

After our little trip to the Sanders' family we were back home watching a Life Time movie. Well, everyone else but Jasper, and I.

We were upstairs planning our outfits out.

"okay, okay, now stuff a little more tissue in their, you'll be good!" I said handing Jasper the tissue box.

"You too, you need to make your speedo look good." He replied giggling.

Thanks to Bella, who was still with Jacob, but visiting, blocked our thoughts/ talkings, so no one could hear us.

"What color heels should I wear?" Asked Jasper holding up a pair of strappy metalic blue sandals, and a silver pair.

"umm..." I said tapping my chin, "metalic blue ones. It goes better with your blue and white bikini!" I exclaimed.

Jasper grabbed the bottle of purple gel he had on his dresser, and started to tease my hair. "There we go!"

We stood infront of the mirror and burst out laughing. "Perfect!" We both exclaimed in unison.

We strutted down the hallway, down the stairwell, and into the living room.

Everyone gaped at our new appearances.

"but you a- and he i- but you do-" Emmett and Tali stuttered pointing from Jasper to me.

Carlisle and Edward were on the floor laughing.

And Rosalie, and Alice were taking pictures..

Esme was pacing back and forth, "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! But no one believed me!"

We all stared at Emse.

"Esme, sweety, come with me." Carlisle said soothing and rushed her out.

A few minutes later he entered the house, Esmeless.

"Committed." Carlisle said.

We all nodded.

"Anyways, what were you guys doing?" Asked Carlisle.

"Cross dressing!" Jasper and I exclaimed. Jasper's voice flamboyant, and mine very masculine.

"Okay, school starts in an hour! So everyone go get ready!!"

Everyone ran into their bedrooms and got ready.

Jasper and I stood downstairs as Carlisle sat on the couch, ready to see the transformations.

"And sporting a green tennis dress, with matching sneakers and pigtails, is Emma(Emmett)! Follow by his lovely girlfriend/boyfriend Toby(Tali)!"

Carlisle, Jasper, and I applauded.

"Followed by them is Alexander(Alice), and Ross(Rosalie)! Alexander is wearing a destroyed, baggy pair of Abercrombie and Fitch jeans with a blue and white Hollister rugby tee! The blue converses really go well with the outfit, good job Alexander! Ross is well dressed in a black suit with a purple button down polo with matching black tie! And backwards cap to keep her hair up. Sexxyyyy!"

"Crap! I forgot to go change!" I exclaimed, I ran up the stairs. When I came back down, Jasper was the announcer.

"Stephen(Sophie) is wearing a sideways AE cap, blue and red blaid boxers, jeans below her butt, and a white pizza stained under shirt, and a baggy jacket. Love the gangsta look!" He said winking.

I looked around the room. "Where is Estella(Edward)?" I asked tapping my foot.

I heard him gigle upstairs. I ran up there and dragged him back down.

He was wearing a ripped up mini skirt, knee high ugg boots, and a white lace cami, and his hair was braided.

"Hey, Jocelyn, you gonna stay in your bikini?" I asked Jasper.

"Hell yeah, girl!" He yelled excitedly.

We got into the car and drove to school. Getting out in the parking lot, everyone stared, which wasn't unnatural. But now they were pointing, more than usual. We knew it was because of our outfits, but didn't say anything. We walked with confidence into the school.

The rest of the day was filled with us not answering when our ACTUAL names were called, getting yelled, at and having to correct everyone about our gender names. The girls talked with very butchvoices,a nd the guys talked with very femine voices.

A few girls even flirted with us. Ha! Thankfully, we all had gym together, so we traded combo/lockers so we could get to the others stuff.

Us girls came out in baggy T's and basketball shorts. and the guys came out wearing shortshorts and tight tanks under sports bra's.

"Um...a little woredrobe malfunction I see." I said giggling walking up to Estella.

He glared at me, "these things are more complicated than they look!" Emma exclaimed pointing to her tank which was around her waist, her sports bra that was backwards, and shorts that were no where to be found. Jasper strutted out with confidence, a little TOO much confidence it was kind of scary. But ignoring Jocelyn's new found liking for the female body, we dragged Emma and Estella back into the locker room to help them change.

Today we were playing football. Which meant Ross, Alexander, Toby, and I all had to actually get into it. Atleast 3 times the guys complained about the ball hitting they're boobs, and how they were crampy, and tender. The girls tackled a few people, and scored majority of the touch downs.

By the end of the day we all crashed on the couch in our pajamas(the guys in VS lingere and girls in boxers and baggy tee's) and watched Scary Movie 2.

A/N

Haha it was just SO tempting.

xo, you're favorite trani aside from Tali,

Sophie

=]


	19. Partaaay!

A/N: MMkay so last night my sister had a party. With some mixed drinks...and they played some fun drinking gmaes, So I thought that it'd be funny if Sophie, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and I all played.. Then they played Guitar Hero and it was hillarious xD and they danced around like idiots to rap music, and it was all really funny..

Disclaimer: I Do not own Twilight, or anything mentioned in this chapter.

TPOV!:

I woke up and my head hurt like crazy. "OW! What hit me last night?? Emmett did you throw me out into the highway and let me get hit by a mack truck?" I complained. I looked over at Sophie..er...Carmen..., and one of her legs was hanging off the couch we were sharing, the other up on the top of the couch. I heard Edward and Emmett giggling, which was odd because, men usually don't "giggle" they chuckle...

"We have something we need to show you..." Emmett said holding up a DVD.

"Oooh is it a movie? is it a good movie?" I sat up and nearly knocked Carmen off the couch.

"Yeah...it's a...movie..." Emmett said trying not to laugh.

"Tali! You stupid! You woke me up!" Carmen said smacking me on the head with a pillow.

Emmett shoved the DVD into the player and sat next to me while Edward sat next to Carmen.

On the screen was the area we were sitting in, the coffee table pulled out so Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Carmen and I could sit around it. In the center of the table there was a deck of cards. I was writing something on a piece of paper. "Okay guys, the name of the game, Circle of Death. How to play the game, It's simple. 2 is you, meaning that when you get a 2 everyone else drinks but you...3 is Me meaning just you drink, 4 is Floor, so the last one to put a thumbs down on the table gets a drink, 5 is Guys, meaning the guys drink... so just Jasper...6 is Chicks, so the girls drink...7 is Heaven and the last one to raise their arm up and do a thumbs up gets a drink, 8 is Mate, so yo upick a mate and whoever that is, they drink with you for the rest of the game, every time they drink you drink everytime you drink they drink, 9 is Rhyme, you pick a word and rhyme around with it, whoever doesn't rhyme fast enough drinks, 10 is Category, same deal only you pick a specific category, like Animals, Flowers, Music genre...stuff like that....Jack is "Jack me Off." Last person to do the motion of a guy Jacking off gets to drink. Queen is Question, you ask someone a question and they answer with a question to someone else...whoever answers a question without a question drinks. King is a rule, there are a total of 8 rules to tihs game, every time you get a King or an Ace you add a rule like...example, You say Rumple Stiltson before drinking. Rules must stay throughout the whole game must be before you drink, and cannot be canceled out. Oh and if you forget to do something before you drink you drink then do it again until you get it right. Though Mates can because if you do it right everyone drinks every time and it's just like no fun anymore.... So Let's Start! I'll go first!"

"Oh God...This is not going to be good is it guys?" Carmen and I asked.

"No, but it's hillarious!" Emmett said.

"Where'd we get the liquor, and what are we drinking?" Carmen and I asked again.

"We blackmailed Carlisle by photoshopping pictures of him stealing blood and meds from the hospital, and you guys are drinking Fuzzy navals..." Emmett grinned.

"Oh..."

We continued watching...

I got the first rule. "You have to say Fidget Pecker before every drink." I grinned.

Carmen got the next rule, "You have to, make a sex noise!"

Alice got the next one, "You....have to...umm...Do the slow mo shampoo commercial thing." (you kno wthe tihng where they whip their hair around obnoxiously in slow motion xDD we were doing that in the pool yesterday!!)

Jasper got the next, "You have to give the person to your left a wet willie."

"EWWWWWWW Jasper!" Carmen and I shouted.

By then the mates were, Jasper, Alice, and I, and Sophie and Rosalie.

Jasper picked up a six, so Alice, Carmen, Rosalie and I all shouted, "FIDGET PECKER! OH!!" then did the slow mo hair thing, and I gave rosalie a wet willie, Rosalie gave Jasper a wet willie, Alice gave carmen a wet willie and Carmen agave me a wet willie. And we all drank.

Alice picked up a 5, so Alice, Jasper, and I all drank.

I picked up a queen. "Questions!!!!" I shouted. "Do you like Monkeys?!" I asked to Jasper.

"Do you like trees?" Jasper asked to Carmen,

"Are you Horny?" Carmen asked Rosalie,

"Are you Sexually....Transmitted?" Rosalie asked Alice

"Transmitted? What the hell Rosalie?"

"I was going to say Active but then switched mid sentence....DAMMIT!" Rosalie shouted then shouted Fidget pecker, Oh, did the hair tihng and gave Jasper a wet willie.

A little while later, We had another question card, I asked Jasper if He had a penis, Jasper asked Carmen if She had boobs, Carmen asked me if I had a vagina, and I tricked Jasper surprisingly.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah that's what you're supposed to do. Oh Dang it!" Jasper drank and his slow mo hair thing was amazingly funny and awesome at the same time.

After our rousing game of Circle of Death, Edward and Emmett broke out Guitar hero world Tour. "I CALL DRUMS!" I shouted in a drunken voice.

"Oh God, do I really sound like that when I'm drunk?" Edward and Emmett just nodded laughing in response to my question.

Halfway through Re-Education Through Labor by Rise Against, I started shouting at the drumset to cooperate with me, Jasper was singing amazingly, Alice was being an awesome bassist, and Carmen was sucking it up on the lead guitar.

We then Started a random dance party in the middle of the living room, with Carmen and I trying to be gangstalicious and failing when we'd get to the crazy breakdancing attempts. We broke at least 10 vases and the coffee table. Then the boys put us on the couch to let us sleep, and Started snickering as they turned out the lights. Apparently they forgot the camera had a night vision feature that automatically kicked in, so we saw what they did to us while we were passed out.

They drew on our faces with Magic Markers, They gave Carmen a unibrow an dmatching Goatee. They gave me an obnoxious looking curly-q mustache, and glasses and a mole on my cheek. And one of them also wrote "Emmett's Dick Goes in Here!" with an arrow poitning to my mouth, and the same thing on Carmen, only with "Edward" instead of Emmett.

While I was shouting "EMMETT McCARTHY CULLEN!!" Carlmen was shouting, "EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!!" And we proceeded to chase them all around the house threatening to kill them. Now why they ran, I had no idea we aren't scary in our Human states, how we kept up with them, I had an even bigger no idea.


	20. All Nighters are Fun

A/N I don't own any of the food products mentioned, or the song "Don't Trust Me" by 3oh3. Or Twilight!! Or the movie Pulse.

"Bye! Ciao! Avoir!!" We all shouted, shoving Carlisle, Vicky(Carlisle's new girlfriend), Jasper, and Alice out the door for their mini one night vacation.

"Finally" I sighed leaning agaisnt the door.

"WHO WANTS TO TRY AND PULL AN ALL NIGHTER?!" Exclaimed Emmett.

"Meeeeeeeee!" We all cheered. We piled into Edward's volvo and went to the nearest super market. Stocking our carts with pixie sticks, monsters, and ruffle chips.

Once we got home I plugged in my iHome and blasted 3oh3's "Don't Trust Me".

"Tell your boyfriend, boyfriend, if he says he's got beef, that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fuckin' scared of him!" I sang into the hair brush microphone to Tali. Once the fridge and cabinets were stocked we all grabbed a Monster and piled onto the couch, turning on our first movie of the night: _Pulse_.

"God you idiot! Run, Corbin Blue look alike, Run!!!" Tali and I shouted at the TV(I just had a sleepover and we basically did this. My friend and me were yelling at the TV...)

Half way through the movie there were cans spilled all across the living room.

"Hey...hey...hey Edward" Stuttered Tali, trying to keep a straight face, and from bouncing. "

"Yes, Tali?" He asked breaking out into a giggle fest.

"H-how're you E-emmett drinking all this Monster without throwing it up? Hehehehehhee" Respond Tali, rolling around on the floor.

"T-T-Tali, c'mere," said Edward motioning her with his index finger, "I don't know" he whispered in her ear. Well all roared with stomach aching laughter.

Around 4 in the morning Edward and Emmett both shot off to the nearest bathroom and threw up the 10 cans of monster they both had drank. Tali and I were naming the couch cushions, and Rosalie was painting her nails.

"Cameron!" Tali shouted pointing at the wide screen TV.

"Ooh. I like that name." I said, "oh! I know! I'll change my name to Cameron!" I said smiling.

Tali and I went out really quickly, legally changed my name and came back to see Edward coming out of the bathrooms.

"Guess what!" I exclaimed.

"What...?" Groaned Edward.

"My name is now...........CAMERON!" I exclaimed again.

"Why?" Asked Edward.

"Dunno." I said plainly.

"'Kay." Said Edward.

Emmett came out of his bedroom in jean shortshorts, and a muscle shirt.

"Margarita's anyone!?" He asked holding up a tray of drinks.


	21. Twiria

A/N: Sadly this is the end of Oh My Snickerdoodles...*audience sobs*...Yes I know. But not to worry! We will be starting a THIRD one on our Oh My *Insert food object here* series! Called Oh My Cheesepuffs! (Or OMC if you will. xDD I didn't even realize it was the thing for Oh my Carlisle xDDDD Until Soph--Carmen? no Cameron Oh who cares, I'm calling her Carmen. I don't like her name change ;-; xD) Don't ask where tihs idea came from. One of our brainstorming sessions gone haywire. xD And how we get to where we go, is well thanks to my one friend xD I suck at coming up with tihngs like that.

Disclaimer!!!~!~: We do NOT own Twilight, Nor do we own anything mentioned. (And Yes, I'm aware that the beginning seems like Narnia, only Slightly different xD)

TPOV:

"I wanna play hide and seek again!" I bounced up and down on the couch, while Carmen, Cameron, whatever, was trying to get Edward to let her braid his hair.

"Why?" Jasper and Emmett asked, monotonously not looking away from their videogame.

"Because I'm BORED!" I stomped my foot down on the coffee table for emphasis.

Carlisle's new girl, Vicky (Icky Vicky, ew eww!!) shouted at me to not beat up the coffee table, and ran off to do something, somewhere.

Alice and Rosalie came downstairs after remodeling the fourth floor of the house, I was going to miss my Green Wallpaper room. "We're playing Hide and Seek! ROSALIE'S IT!" I shouted and ran upstairs. I heard Rosalie starting to count and everyone running upstairs to find hiding spots. Emmett passed me up, slowed down and I hopped up onto his back for the fastest piggyback ride ever. "OOH! Em! I know where we can hide!" I whispered.

"Where?" He whispered back.

"Keep going upstairs until we get to the attic, I'm sure Rosalie and Alice won't go up there." I grinned. Sadly I wasn't the only one who thought that so Alice, Jasper, Edward, Carmen/Sophie/Cameron/whateverhernameisnow, were all up there.

"Where are we going to hide if she DOES come up here." I asked tapping my chin. "All I can see in here is that weird obnoxiously big filing cabinet." I pulled the cabinet open and looked inside. "I think we might be able to fit in here." I smiled. There were eight drawers total.

"OH yes, Then we can figure out what it's like to be in a morgue." Jasper snickered.

"Come on!" I shouted and shoved Jasper into the top one. Carlisle then came up to see what we were up to. I grabbed Carlisle and shoved him into the next one. "Yay!" Carlisle wasn't as happy about it as I was, but hey, I wanted Carlisle to play along with our hide and Seek game.

Instead of being shoved in, Edward willingly went into the filing cabinet, as did Sophie/carmen/Cameron/whatever. Emmett and I grinned at each other and waited for Rosalie to come up. She finally did, and we shoved her into one just because we can, and we jumped into the last two drawers. Now why were we all in cabinet drawers? Because, File cabinet party anyone?

When Emmett slammed his drawer shut, we all ended up in some crazy land. It looked oddly like Originatopia; only everything was upside-down and backwards.

I looked around and saw that Carlisle had turned back into a human...and a baby. "Awww He's so cute!!!!!" Carmen and I giggled and picked him up. Baby Carlisle bopped me on the head with his rattle and cried when I tried to play with him.

Just then, something unexpected and terrible happened. The sky went black, and a large hand came out of the sky and grabbed us one by one.

"I thought I told you, No more silly games!" Icky Vicky cried furiously as she yanked us out of our filing cabinet drawers one by one.

"We're sorry Vicky," we apologized in unison.

Later that night we returned to the filing cabinet and entered that strange world like Originatopia.


End file.
